Dancing Under the Moonlight

Ch. 14 It's Not Home Anymore

I wake up, in my bed, Rhys is there. I woke up before him, and usually I would mind if he was here but today no, today I'm going back. Back to place that's no longer home for me. A place that I won't live in anymore. How will Lucien and Tamlin take that. I don't know, I;m guessing badly though. I mean for god's sake he sure didn't care when I was wallowing away in my own misery. Why would he care now.
What if he tried to keep me there? No he would... Should be better than that? And Lucien he would step in right? He's my friend isn't he?
I've been putting this about all of this but it's today I'm going back to a home that's not home anymore. Because truthfully home is Rhys. That's where home is, I love him, at least I think I do. But I thought Tamlin right? Not anymore clearly but did I ever.
Rhys is my mate how can I not love him?
How can you not love your mate, everything I feel for him is just the bond. Is it just a lie? N-no I can't doubt us now, not when I'm going back to sprint THE spring court. Then again I don't know why I'm like THE, hehe there's one.
I see or we'll feel him rising. He looks so cute when he's asleep, so calm. So peaceful. Exactly what I need to be right now. Did we get into our relationship to fast. Like on my third day here I'm like 'hey man were mates right' that's a little fast.
"Feyre, what are you thinking about, like I can basically see the gears turning in your head. And I don't think that's too good" Rhys says to me.
"Haha probably not" I say, God even when I'm panicking he can still make me laugh, "Rhys we both know I'm going back today"
"... ... ... Yeah but are you staying there, beca- because I can't lose you. You know technically you haven't verified the mate bond. And.. On my god... Are you going to?" He asks. It looks like Rhys is seriously panicking and I don't want that. I can't have that. I can feel his panicking through our bond like it ps my own.
"Rhys I- I please let's answer all this when we have more time, you know I care about you. But I think we're both confused. And we don't have time to clarify anything so let's just not yet. When I get back we will" I say to him
"I... Okay when you get back. But when will that even be?" He asks of me to which I can't answer. Today? In an week?
"I don't know yet hopefully soon just give me some time. Ok?" I ask.
"Okay Feyre okay." He says.
There rest of the morning. Is spent in silence neither of us talking to each other, both of us to lost in our thoughts. So I eat breakfast and I'm about to get dressed to leave, but... What should I dress in. The beautiful night court, or the bright spring court clothing. The one dress I have from there, well the one I brought here.
Technically I should wear spring court but, I just don't want to really.
So in the end I dress in one of the beautiful night court clothing pieces. I choose a dress it's a gradient between silver and an icy blue. It's goes from icy blue to silver. It's beautiful like everything here. It strapless and is long, covers my feet, and only pools out when it gets to the ground the rest is a bit tight. I but on some black flats with it  because heels will ruin my feet. I wouldn't describe myself as tall, but I'm not really short either.
I look at myself in the mirror. Hmm pretty I guess to some, but not really to myself that much. I don't really know what to do now. Just wait for Rhys. He'll probably be here any second, and while I could call him, I'm just not going to yet. And for some odd reason it's like scared to talk to him.
At that moment I hear a knock o pin the door. The only sound coming from the person behind is, "ready?" From Rhys.
I don't really give him an answer, I just get and walk to the door. Opening it and, looking up at him I give a short curt nod.
We go to the entrance of the castle, and still now I don't know it.  It's just so big.
He looks down to me at the same I look up to at him, I can basically read the words in his eyes. He doesn't want me to go. And neither do I.
I don't know if it's love, or what but I want to stay here with him, you know what it's probably the mate bond. I hate that though I want to fall in love with him. Not be forced to. And I hope... I hope I can.
At that moment he winnows us both the spring court. It's not weird he's done it before, and were quickly there.
At first I feel al it's blinded by the light, hehe guess I'm not quite used to it yet. Hell I almost fall, but Rhys had an arm waist so I don't.
As I look around I my eyes get used to all the colors again and it's a bit overwhelming. But they're beautiful. And I missed being able to paint these colors again.
We're in the forest but the manor is in sight. And we both start walking to it. I see all the houses all around and I realize that while it's pretty, it's not home anymore. We stop 20 yards from the manor, this is our goodbye. And as I finally look at him, tears for in my eyes, I don't want to leave him. I don't want to say goodbye.
And we don't need words to knew what the other is thinking. And I hope that I'll be back soon, because I don't want to be more than a day away from him.
And slowly I go and kiss him with him kissing me back. And I literally I feel fire works going off when I do. And then just as slowly I pull away, be used if I didn't I wouldn't ever. And leaving him there I walk to the manor, and yeah I looked back just once though. And he hadn't moved an inch.
Okay guys and gals there it was ch.14 it was kinda hard to write. My updates won't be to consistent but I will try to update more now. But I'm gonna be starting imply fanfic again. To clarify I know in the last real chapter they were all like I love so much. But now Feyre is all like was it just because we're mates. And so Feyre is just gonna see if it was or wasn't just because they're mates. But hopefully Feyre will get back to her senses and realize she loves Rhys. At least I hope she does. I mean, yeah I'm just gonna stop talking right now. Anyhow I hope like, comment, and follow. In less you think this is terrible, we'll still say something. Back to the point see ya guys... And gals.