It's Just Me

Thank you

Do I wish Lindsey stayed that night? Of course I do. But maybe it's good he didn't. What was more important, that despite everything, he came to me knowing I was upset. I apologized to him and I opened up a little bit about my relationship with Christian, mostly about the reason why I am with him. I honestly hope Lindsey understands, just like I'm trying to understand and accept his relationship with Olivia. It was hard for me to say to him that if someone else makes you happy, be with her, but maybe it's for the best. Maybe we truly have used up all of our chances. A small part of me thought he'd say something different than what he did. He wouldn't fall in love, but he could be content with her. Wouldn't he want to be in love and happy with me instead? Shaking my head, I shun those thoughts away. What am I even thinking about?

It's lunch time and my band scatters for something to eat, while I go to a quiet corner and sit by myself, waiting for Karen with my food. While I'm waiting for my assistant, I see the last person I expected today coming in through the door. Judging by his body language, I can tell how uncomfortable and out of place he feels. I can't blame him; Sharon is here, who's been very protective over me always, when it came to him. Waddy, even though the two have known each other for a long time, is only friendly with him, when I am, too. Currently, Waddy just gives him a look and a small nod of his head. At last, he approaches me and I can't hide my amusement. 

"Don't look so scared." I tell him and he smiles weakly. 

"It's kind of hard not to be terrified." Lindsey says, as I get up from my seat and greet him. 

"What are you doing here?" I then ask.

"Uh, well... you took the first step, I'm taking the next one. I thought we could maybe go out for lunch?"

"Karen is supposed to be bringing mine here anytime now." I say and I see the look of slight disappointment on his face. "How about we wait for her, so she doesn't have to wonder where I am and then we can go?"

Smiling, he nods. "Sure."

In about fifteen minutes, Lindsey and I are leaving and I can feel every pair of eyes staring at us. Do I care? Well, no, no I do not. They can think whatever they want, but this is huge and extremely important for us. 

We get into Lindsey's car and take a short drive, before we arrive at a nice looking little spot. Several people turn their heads to stare at us briefly, while we walk the short distance from the car. Lindsey opens the door and I smile at him for a thank you, going inside and looking for a table. We sit down and a waitress approaches us, we order our food and I then rest my chin on my clenched fist, leaning slightly more forward over the table. 

"So far, so good, huh?"

Lindsey laughs lightly, shrugging his shoulders. "It would seem like. Though, I wasn't sure you would appreciate me interrupting your rehearsals. I'm glad you agreed to join me."

"It was a lovely surprise, seeing you come in, I must say. I wasn't expecting it." I tell him honestly. 

"How are you, Steph? That phone call in the middle of the night scared me a little." 

"I'm fine." I wave it off. "I had a moment, I got emotional, but really, I'm just fine. I hope I didn't cause any troubles?" 

Lindsey shakes his head. "No. Besides, you know that you always come first."

"I mean, I wouldn't-"

"I wasn't with her that night, Stevie." He cuts me off, knowing exactly what I was trying to say. 

"Oh. I didn't want to upset you."

"You didn't, I'm sorry." He apologizes and we both grow quiet.

This short exchange only proves just how bad we are at communicating. We aren't exactly patient with each other. Although, I can also tell that he's trying to calm down and don't make this worse. That's not a bad sign, I suppose.

"How is the band coming along?" Lindsey changes the subject.

"Things are going really great. It's sad Lori won't be joining us, but other than that, all is good. Have I told you, I have a Buckingham Nicks song on the set list?" 

"Really?" He's clearly surprised. "That's nice. Which one?"

"Crying in the Night. I was deciding between that and Crystal."

He nods, staying silent for a moment, as if he's thinking about something, before saying. "I'm glad you've chosen that one. It's always been among my favorites. If things between us continue to progress, maybe I could join you on stage for a night or two." He suggests, without sounding too serious, but I know he means it.

"We'll see." I give him a small smile, before digging into my salad, that has just been brought to me. "Are things moving forward with Fleetwood Mac?" I ask and I feel the lump forming in my throat, because I really don't want to know the answer.

"They're not." Lindsey tells me and I'm instantly relieved. "But I have spoken to Mick. We both agreed that we should give you more time. We'll wait until you're finished with your own tour. Even if we want things to move faster, we also realize that Fleetwood Mac is the five of us." I suddenly feel my eyes well up with tears, as I put my fork down and cover my face. "Steph? What did I say?"

I shake my head, cocking it back to prevent the tears from falling. "It just means a lot to me, you know, that you're willing to wait. I love you, guys and I do want to join you, but..."

"In your own time."

"Exactly. So, thank you."

He reaches for my hand across the table, giving a gentle squeeze, instead of saying something, although, that speaks louder than any words ever could.