The Truth About the Girl With the Broken Smile [Ouran Host Club] (Editing)

Before It's Too Late

                “Amen.”

                “You may join us in Hymn. Worship by any means you feel lead to.”

                I glanced around the room. A few women had already kicked off their shoes and started wiggling their hips. A few men opened up their arms and leaned back their heads, while children raced around the room like wildcats. I licked my lips.

                “What are you thinking?” Kaoru asked. In truth, I was thinking about leaving my seat to join the dancing women and children in the isles, but I was worried about Kaoru and what he’d do if I left him. “Do whatever you feel lead to do.” He encouraged. My eyes widened. I embraced him in a hug.

                “Thank you.” I whispered into his ear.

                “No worries.” He chuckled. “I’m right behind you.”

                He let me slip in front of him and out into the open area. The band kicked into action, and a woman started to sing. Everyone in the tiny room started dancing and singing at the top of their lungs. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to slip into the lyrics and got lost in the words. I drifted by, floating like a cloud. The Holy Word filled me to the brim, getting me addicted to its nature like a drug. I wondered if I could have the same affect on people if I tried, or even if that was what I was lead to do. What did God think of me? Was He worried about my lies and my secrets?

No.

The voice was so clear in my head.

I was sure He loved me,

Just as the Pastor had claimed.

I bowed my head and started praying.

The music continued soaring through the air.

And the people of the Church followed.

Worshiping

                My Father in Heaven looked at me and smiled. He saw all of my flaws and scars and thought of me as perfect and beautiful. He loved me for myself, and undoubtedly had a plan of me. Through of all the chaos, through all of the madness and hardship, he was planning something. I just had no idea what it was.

                “If you will now please be seated.”

                My eyes fluttered open. Kaoru was already sitting. I quietly joined him. The Pastor smiled, filing through the Bible.

                “Faith and trust in the Lord.” He said carefully. His voice even seemed to be smiling. I looked at him sideways. “This is a very hard thing to do. Sometimes it’s easier to trust and believe in something tangible, but not God. This is an area I struggle in tremendously. I find it difficult to trust people because I can’t trust the Divine Creator. Sometimes I drift away, it’s a very human thing to do. But God loves us and He understands this. If you have your Bibles with you today, I’d like you to turn to Deuteronomy 31:8. ‘It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.’ We can find comfort in His word and promise to us.”

                I chewed on my bottom lip and turned to Kaoru. He rested his elbows on the back of the empty pew and leaned forward into his hands.

                He was listening. I smiled. Good.

***

                “No kidding, she dragged you to church?” Haruhi seemed to be caught between shock and confusion. I shrugged my shoulders and clasped my hands behind my back.