Desolate Me

Read All About It

I was in the middle of writing out my lab notes when I was tapped on the shoulder from behind. I finished the sentence and looked back. Kara handed me a folded up piece of paper and I frowned. She wasn’t the type to pass notes in class, especially biology. If we got caught with a note, the context would be read aloud in front of everyone and we’d get a week’s detention.

I unfolded and read over the note. It was fairly simple and straight to the point.

I need to talk to you. Meet me after class? –D

I glanced back at him where he sat at his lab table. He was smiling at something Alicia said, his eyes down casted at the lab notes he was writing. He took a second to glance over at me and I nodded just slightly so he knew my answer to his question.

“Cass?”

“Yeah?”

I looked at Gwen and found she’d been watching the exchange. She didn’t look happy at all, not that she normally did. At the moment we were at an impasse concerning each other.

“What are you doing?” she whispered. “I thought you were working things out with my brother.”

“I am.” I turned back to facing the front. “I still have a few other things to take care of.”

“So you’re not back together?”

“Not yet. There’s still a lot we need to work out. This is going to progress slowly whether you like it or not.”

Her sigh was heavy and irritating, just like she knew it would be. “Double timing my brother is not…”

“I am not double timing anyone. Peter is in full disclosure and by this afternoon so will Darken. Not that you need to know any of this.”

“But you’re picking my brother, right?”

“It’s not really any of your business. At the moment I am single and that’s all you need to know.”

“Cass…”

“Let it go.” I noticed the colors on my bracelet start to swirl. “It’s none of your business.”

“My brother’s happiness is my business. I don’t think you understand what he’s been through.”

“Gwen,” I said through gritted teeth. “I know full well what your brother’s been through. I even know what I’ve been through which you don’t seem to be taking into account.”

“Yes I am. But nothing was really done to you. My brother was the one who was violated.”

“And you sat back and watched it happen. What does that say about you?”

The bell rang, signaling the end of class. Everyone knew our lab notes were due as we left so I finished writing the answer to the last question. Gwen was too upset with my last statement to talk to me, so she gathered up her stuff and left. I felt bad about what I said but I was right. She needed to understand that this reunion of sorts was going to take time. Trust needed to be rebuilt, forgiveness needed to be dealt…

There was no way I was rushing back into this. My eyes were completely open this time.

It was easy to say that my opinion of her hadn’t changed since the detox. Bren might’ve forgiven her for all the crap she’d pulled over the years but I wasn’t as lenient. My image of her was really skewed at the moment and showed no signs of changing.

“You still don’t like her, do you?”

“No.” I looked at Darken. “She was an acquired taste I had but then lost. I’m not sure I want it back.”