Desolate Me

I'm Awake Now

I got to the school Monday morning after I knew everyone would already be there. The normally loud parking lot went silent as I stepped out of my car and everyone took a visible step back. I’d gone for the dangerous look one of my friends back in Ireland taught me how to do once: dark eye make up, dark clothes (even though I was limited on that), and an air one carries when you don’t want to be messed with.

My friend definitely knew what she was talking about. No one said anything as I walked by, a lot of them down casted their eyes. Not even Whitney said anything to me.

I was not to be messed with.

“Cass…what are you doing?”

Gwen came out of nowhere, matching my stride. I kept walking, trying to ignore her presence as much as possible.

“Cass.” She pulled me to a stop and I finally looked at her. “Talk to me. What’s…”

“Your brother broke up with me. Didn’t he tell you?”

“No.” She didn’t look surprised though. “He didn’t…men—mention it. Not really.”

I nodded. “You’re lying. You were before and you are again. You knew what was going on the whole time, didn’t you?” She shook her head vigorously. “Your brother is a complete bastard.”

“Cass…”

“Don’t talk to me. I don’t want to talk to you, or your brother, or anyone in your horrible family. You’re all a bunch of liars.”

“Cass…” I could see the tears form in her eyes. “You don’t mean…”

“I do.” A soft breeze came through, several of the students gasping. “All of you just leave me alone.”

I tugged my arm out of her grip and started forward, several pairs of eyes on me.

“Cass!” Gwen cried behind me. “Cass!”

But I kept walking.

“You’ve just turned yourself into a total badass, haven’t you?”

I looked up and smiled, probably my first real smile all day. I tugged out my ear buds so I could talk to him.

“Hey.”

Garin sat down next to me, dropping his bag on the floor. His eyes took a second to sweep over me, taking it all in including the black pantyhose and knee high boots.

“You know…I like this whole look. It definitely works for you.”

“I’m just making a point. I’ll be back to normal tomorrow.”

“That I totally get. So…off the record…how are you really doing?”

“How do you think?”

His eyes turned sympathetic. “I’d give you a hug but I’m afraid it would ruin your strong, sturdy image.”

I choked on my sip of soda and laughed. “You’re just on it today, aren’t you?”

“You know it…but I thought I should tell you, from a friend instead of a stranger…”

“They’re dating. I know. It’s kind of hard to miss the whispers.”

“You expected it?”

I shrugged. “What else did you think would happen? I didn’t give him what he wanted so he found someone else who would. He probably slinked off with her after the game. They almost certainly didn’t even wait to get home. He more than likely took her out back and bent her over the post.”