The Weapon-A Sherlock Fanfiction

Chapter 25~Two Stupid Geniuses

I knew today wasn't going to go well when I came home and saw the sign on the front door reading WARNING Sherlock is bored. I mentally prepared for the flat to be in ruins. When I opened the door, with the utmost of caution, I saw Sherlock lying on the couch, wearing his blue robe and facing the wall.

"Oh great, The Incredible Sulk is back." I said. Sherlock glanced over his shoulder to throw me a glare. John chuckled from his spot in the armchair. I dropped off the grocery bags in the kitchen and opened the fridge to put away the milk...

"SHERLOCK!" I screamed, slamming the refrigerator door. I stomped into the living room. He jumped to his feet.

"What the hell is in the fridge?!" I shouted furiously.

"It's an experiment!" He shouted back.

"I'm going to make an experiment out of your face!" I lunged for him, but John held me back.

"I've already called animal control." He said. I growled, narrowing my eyes at Sherlock. I went over to his chair and sank down in it. He plopped back on the couch, curling up into a ball and facing away from us. I grabbed a book. He peeked over his shoulder to see if I was watching his tantrum.

"When's the next case?" I asked John exhaustively.

"Nothing on the blog." He answered. I groaned.
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John was out on a date, and Sherlock was fiddling with his microscope, offering no stimulation, so I did what anyone would've done. I went to the bar. I'll spare you the details. Let's just say that at the end of the night, my wallet was empty and I was mistaking more pine cones for hedgehogs than ever before. I stumbled up the stairs and into the flat. Sherlock was still in the kitchen, mixing chemicals. I fell into a chair.

"How's it going, Sherl?" I slurred. He looked at me briefly, coldly. I raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, so you're ignoring me now?" He didn't say anything.

"Fine." I said, pulling a bottle out of my bag. "You're gonna miss me in five minutes." A few minutes passed, and the contents of the bottle were running dangerously low. Sherlock's phone rang.

"When are you getting back?" Sherlock whined.

"Is Jax there?" I heard on the other line.

"Yes." Sherlock said bitterly.

"Lucky for you!" I shouted, my voice fluctuating.

"Are you drunk?" Sherlock asked.

"I don't know grandma, am I?" I answered.

"Do not let her leave the flat." I recognized the voice as John's.

"Why?" Sherlock asked.

"Remember the last time she was drunk and unsupervised?" John said.

"Hey! That guy had it coming!" I defended.

"He was twelve!" John said.

"He tripped me!" I shouted.

"And then you chased him for two blocks, dragged him back to our flat, locked him in the bathroom and refused to let him out until he had memorized the entire first page of Twilight and  recited it back to you." John said.

"One time! I did that one time!" I said.

"Sherlock, just don't let her leave." John said, sounding exhausted.

"Oh, leaving Sherlock in charge. Brilliant." I retorted.

"Yes, and leaving you alone while you're heavily intoxicated would be a better idea." Sherlock remarked.