chapter thirty one

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Everything was like it had been before Jared had left for boot camp. We spent nearly every waking hour that we could together. He didn’t ‘officially’ work on the farm anymore, but he went out there occasionally and helped out. 

A couple of nights after we had returned from his graduation, Jared and I were at the park sitting on the swings, where we had first met, seemingly eons ago. We swung in silence for awhile, just enjoying the other’s company.

“Tiff, you know that I have to report back to base, don’t you?” he asked, slowly his pace, and then altogether stopping.

“Well,” I began, stopping my own swing my dragging the toes of my sneakers on the ground, “I kind of figured as much, although to be honest,” I paused and dropped my eyes from his, feeling my cheeks flush with embarrassment, “I was secretly hoping that if I didn’t bring it up, it would just, I don’t know…” I trailed off.

“Go away?” Jared suggested.

“Um, yeah. Something like that,” I confessed. I dared to look into his eyes. I felt ashamed for thinking such asinine thoughts, but there it was again, that dreaded wishful thinking.

“It’s not going to go away,” Jared said quietly, “I’m in this for life,” he added. 

“I know,” I muttered. He was proud to be a Marine. It was a great honor for him. “I guess I just need to get over the fact that we’re not going to have the traditional relationship,” I said with a sigh.

And it was true, our relationship was becoming anything but ‘traditional.’ I chewed on my bottom lip anxiously. It seemed as though I was constantly wondering what the future had in store for us. What cards life had in store to deal to us.

“We’ll be alright, I’m sure of it,” Jared said matter-of-factly. I looked up into his eyes, trying to catch his optimism. Instead, I found myself wondering how he could be so sure of something so unknown.

****

Jared’s leave from boot camp only lasted four short weeks. It seemed that no sooner than he was back home and in my arms, he was gone again, headed back to California. This time wasn’t any easier than when he left for boot camp. Tears streamed down my face as I held my hand up near my side in a simple ‘good bye’ gesture. Here I was, on my own and alone…again.

****

Jared wouldn’t be getting any kind of leave again until Thanksgiving, and that was only for four days. He would get another, for two weeks, for the Christmas and New Year’s holidays. I hated our time apart, and only seeing him on these short spurts of ‘leaves’ that he was allowed, but, as much as I didn’t want to admit it, it was becoming the ‘norm’ for us. I wrote him a letter a week, and sent emails daily. He was allowed to call in the evenings when he was done with work, so those seemingly small things helped the time between when we saw each other to go by a little quicker. 

The days and months ticked slowly by. I had began doing my general classes for nursing, and consumed myself with my studies. Anything to keep my mind from how many more days, weeks, months, that was left until I could wrap my arms around Jared again. 

****

It was finally Thanksgiving, and I rode with Jared’s parents to meet him at the airport on Wednesday night. I already knew that he would have to be back on Sunday night so he could report to work first thing Monday morning, so I was determined to make the most of our short time together. 

“I’ve missed you,” he breathed into my hair as we held each other just outside of the exit gate in the airport. 

“I missed you, too,” I confided. Even though we could talk daily, it still didn’t make up for not being able to see and feel him at any given whim. We walked hand in hand to his parent’s car, and climbed in the backseat. I had a slight feeling of déjà vu from when we were returning with him from his boot camp. 

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