It's Loud Inside My Head

Meeting Our Heroine

I am going to die. I can hear them creaking towards the closet I hide in, and I know when they find me, they will tear me apart, limb from limb, and devour me. I did nothing to deserve this.

                                                                                ***

The house looked old and run down. The windows were cracked, the front door was hanging off of its hinges, and the front yard was overgrown with weeds and grass. A single tree was by the large iron gate, but that was dead and bare. How poetic, I thought. I shivered and pulled my thin jacket closer. I didn’t have much in the way of clothing; just a pair of jeans, a jacket, and a beanie hat.

Looks like this is where I’m staying tonight. I was cold, numb, tired. Just get inside the house and then you can sleep. Up I climbed over the fence. The walk to the house was long; it felt as though eyes were watching me. The bushes rustled and a chill went through my spine. I ran with all of my might to the house, opened the door, and slammed it shut.

The house was dark, and the only light came from the outside moon, which was full. The wood on the floors was rotting and creaky. With each step I shuddered. I tried to avoid the windows. I am always afraid that a face will pop up and frighten me.

The shutters on the window creaked and I knocked into the banister behind me. The house was old. It reminded me of the days when butlers and maids were around. The staircase spiraled upwards to a doorway, but I couldn’t see anything past that. Only one way to find out, and up I went.

I don’t like being alone; it terrifies me. When I am alone, my thoughts that I shove deep down inside of me push themselves up somehow, and I am haunted with everything I have done. I have always said that I don’t regret my actions, but that isn’t true. My thoughts began to play with me as I went up the steps.

I'll admit that I'm a paranoid freak. When I was younger, I was too afraid at night to get up and go to the restroom because of the shadows, so I'd completely pee all over myself. My mom sent me to therapy, saying that we would take care of this, but that never worked.

I finally stopped the shadows -- for a time. The next time they came back, I wasn't able to fight them. The shadows? They've been around for as long as I could remember. I used to play with them when I was little. Everyone I know has shadows in their eyes. When they blink, you can see the shadows laughing. The shadows have always been there. They are the only constant companion in my life. I learned long ago never to trust a soul.

My brain is psyching me out again. I have a bad feeling about this house. Except for my creaking up the steps, it's too eery and quiet. It feels like I'm watched. Followed. Hunted.

I've always been a target for the girls at school. To them, I was a bug for them to step on. They knew my secret and exposed me to the whole school. Day in and day out, high school was a miserable existence. But that was then, and this is now. I got back at them.

Creak. Creak. Creak. I finally reached the top of the stairs. Here there was a hallway. Left or right. Which one should I choose? Only one way to find out. I went left. The hallway walk was long. The walls, which were once white, were now a dull yellow. Everything was covered in dirt and dust. I rubbed my finger along the wall. Ew. Disgusting. This has to be a breeding ground for something.

My finger hit a light switch. Eagerly, I flipped it on. Nothing. The switch next to it did turn on a dull light bulb overhead. At least something is better than nothing. I heard a sound coming from the right side of the hall. Running as quickly as I could, I found the end of the hall, and ducked behind the corner. My eyes peeked out, looking for danger.