Origami Girl

Chapter 40: Young and Beautiful

Origami Girl

Chapter 40: Young and Beautiful

"I thought of the new stone, of my new wife, and of the newly buried white bones beneath us, and I felt that fate had made sport of us all."

-Natsume Sōseki, Kokoro

It was already rather bright when I finally woke up, sunlight streaming through the window, illuminating the room. Jarrett's back was facing me, the young man still fast asleep. I could see his shoulders rise and fall with his every breath.

The clock on the wall said it was seven-thirty. Peeling the sheets carefully from my shoulders, I inched out the bed, careful not to wake him up. I adjusted the bathrobe, the garment having nearly slipped off my shoulders.

I made my way to the kitchen, intent on making breakfast. I just thought it would be nice to surprise him, waking up to the smell of cooking. That morning, I had forgotten my sadness.

The kitchen was neatly organised, a hallmark of Ayumi-chan's presence. This apartment breathed of her existence, that she had been here. Yet here I was, in her beautiful silk gown, my hands all over her cooking ware. All the new pots and pans that she had brought had a shiny quality to them, the silver pan glistening in the light. And here I was, my hands all over them. It almost felt like I was robbing the virtue out of that household, with my very hands.

Taking out four eggs, I rinsed them under some warm water. I wanted to make some soft-boiled eggs, like the ones they made in the onsen, those silky eggs smoothly boiled in the waters of the hot springs. As I waited for the eggs to cook in the simmering water, I decided to prepare the rest of breakfast. I found an assortment of sausages in the fridge, and took out four of them. On a separate stove, I heated up some oil in a pan, and threw the sausages in. For the toast, I reheated a loaf of sourdough bread in the toaster oven, letting it sit there for a few minutes.

I never felt happier cooking breakfast. It's true, I do enjoy cooking, but I was never this ecstatic. As I flipped the sausages around and removed the eggs from the water and into an ice bath, I couldn't help but hum a tune as I worked myself. I made some coffee with the young man's French press, filling the entire room with the aroma of coffee beans. I haven't had coffee much myself, given that I was pretty much a tea person, but I guess it wouldn't hurt.

I couldn't help but think about what happened last night. Almost immediately my happiness dissipated into a cold, awkward feeling.

I was beneath him as Jarrett, his nose nuzzled against my shoulders, my cheeks, my neck. He then lowered himself down towards me as I closed my eyes, my heart beating fast in anticipation. I felt our lips touch as he pushed himself hard against me, moving back for a breath before coming at me again. I held on to him for dear life. This was our first kiss, and I had butterflies in my stomach. Yet at the same time, I was so used to him, that familiarity had sunken down any feeling of apprehension inside me. When we were done, he just stayed there, looking at me.

I studied every single feature of his, illuminated by moonlight. His pale skin, his thin lips, his perfect eyes. His muscular arms, broad shoulders, his chest that moved up and down with each breath. I couldn't believe we were together like this.

The young man laughed, and so did I.

It was then when I gazed into his light brown eyes. I could see the beads of sweat dripping off his chest and onto the beautiful silk gown. His lips slightly parted as he panted, he finally spoke.

"Do you-" he began, murmuring. "Do you want to go further?"

I immediately felt the smile on my face fade. The joy, the laughter, for me in that moment, they all vanished. My heart thumped in my chest. All I could hear was the throbbing of my heart, and Jarrett's heavy breathing. I said nothing, and turned to face away.