The Indispensable | Jason McCann | Justin Bieber

14

Jason's POV

My mind is awake but my body is not.
I can hear things, but I see nothing.
I can't move.
Is this what it's like to be dead?

I can hear her.
I can hear Arabella.
She's with me.
Does that mean she's dead too?
Part of me hopes she is, so I can be with her.
That's how selfish I am.

I'm trying to open my eyes, but they feel too sleepy.
I can still feel the excruciating pain in my stomach.
My head feels so light, it could just float right off of my shoulders any second.

I can feel her grip on my hand.
I'm not dead.
I'm still alive.

...Shit.
...Shit. Shit. Shit.

I fucking told Bella I loved her.
Why.
Oh fuck.
I'm in some deep shit now.
Why do I always fuck things up.
I can't love her.
Either I lie to her, tell her I don't love her, or I don't.
It would be so easy if I could just be with her.
But I can't.
I have to lie to her.
I have to.

Arabella's POV

I can feel Jason's hand moving slightly in mine.
He's waking up.
I can feel the tears brimming over my eyes as I think of him.

He said he loves me.
And the truth is, I think I might love him too.

He said he wasn't capable of loving someone.
He said he was broken.
But I know I can fix him.
I am fixing him.
He just doesn't know it yet.

"Jason?" I whisper, as his eyes flutter open.
"B...Bella" He says in reply.
"Jason! Oh my god I'm so glad you're okay!" I say, pulling his hand close to my chest.
He gives a slight smile and rubs his eyes gently.
Wincing in pain, he slowly sits up.

"Jase, I think you should know, I...I love you too" I say, very nervous.

Jason's POV

Great.
Fucking great.
She loves me too.
Now, not only do I have to resist going to her, but I have to resist her coming to me too.

"Bella, I d-don't love you" I say, struggling to get the words out.
As soon as the words leave my mouth, I can sense the hurt in her eyes.
It hurts me too.

Arabella's POV

I feel my heart sink as the words leave his mouth.
It feels like my heart just got ten times as heavy.
I try to stop the tears from leaving my eyes.

Resisting the urge to retaliate, I leave.
I can't stand to sit there looking at someone who tricked me into falling for them.

Why the fuck would he lie to me.
Why the fuck did he say he loved me.

He said it because he thought he was going to die.

People normally tell the truth before they die.
No dying man would tell someone a lie.

He wasn't lying.
He does love me.
He's lying to me now.

But why does he have to hide his feelings for me?
He is allowed to have feelings for someone.

Maybe that someone just isn't me

Maybe he's not allowed to have feelings for me.
But that's stupid.
Maybe he just thinks he's too tough for love.

Maybe he just needs convincing...

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Sorry this chapter is quite short compared to my recent ones, but I just really wanted to update after the last chapter. I thought that if I left people thinking Jason was dead for too long, then they would stop reading.