You screwed up. I gave you my heart and trusted you to take care of me and protect me, but you didn't.
It's such a disappointment when you defend someone for so long thinking they're different and they turn out to be just like what everyone said.
I thought there was something romantic about fighting for someone, but there's nothing nice about having to continuously convince someone to love you.
You put me through hell, and I called it love.
You consumed my entire being, and that's why I let you treat me the way you did. I waited for you. I gave you chance after chance and left you with everything I had, and you just took it all without a care in the world.
There's a difference between someone who wants you and someone who would do anything to keep you. If I have to beg for your attention, then I don't even want it.
I cared too much and you didn't care enough and that was the problem. I acted like it wasn't a big deal, when really it was killing me inside. I'd rather have nobody than someone who is half there, or doesn't want to be there at all.
Not everything is supposed to become something beautiful and long-lasting. Some people come into your life to show you what is right and what is wrong, to show you who you can be, to teach you to love yourself.
My biggest mistake wasn't falling for you, it was thinking you'd fallen for me too. I think the greatest thing you ever taught me, is that you can give so much of yourself to someone, and it still won't be enough.
You might still like me. You probably do. You probably don't know what you want. You probably still think about me all the time, but that isn't what matters. What matters is that you're not doing anything about it.
I won't be fooled by your charm, you don't know how to love. I want someone who goes out of their way to make it obvious that they want me in their life.
It's like part of me wants you, but another part of me knows I'm better off without you. You only want me when its convenient for you, and I'm too full of life to be half loved.
I see clearly now that if you genuinely wanted to give me your time and affection, then you wouldn't make me beg or bleed for it. You're going to miss me and when you do, you'll realize you only have yourself to blame.
I hope you see me so fucking happy that I look like I'm about to explode, and I hope it hurts. I gave you my all and kept fighting long after I should have stopped.
So you can have your ordinary love. I want a love that will burn my lips and engulf my soul. I want to drown in passion and be ravished every night. I want someone who will kiss me like its the only thing keeping him alive.
I'm worth it. Always have been and always will be.
Maybe we'll meet again when we are a bit older and our minds less hectic, you'll be right for me and I'll be right for you. But right now, I am turmoil to your thoughts and you are poison to my heart.
By Kieanna Ryann
