Saving Olivia

Chapter 15

this is my favorite song

Happy late Halloween!!🎃🕷👻 🕸
*****

Where am I?

I can faintly hear the beeping of a heart monitor somewhere in the room.

What happened? Why am I here?

I rack my brains for all the opportunities. There's not a lot I remember... vague memories...

Falling. A bottle hitting the floor. Pills scattering everywhere. A door opening.

My mind still stays blank about where I could be. In my bed?

I feel around, my hands grabbing thin sheets. It can't be my bed... I have more blankets than this.

Suddenly my mind clicks. Heart monitors, thin sheets, weird smells, pills...

I'm at a hospital.

The door opens and a nurse steps in.

"Glad to see you're awake, honey." She smiles a warm, genuine smile. "Are you hungry?"

As if on cue, my stomach starts grumbling.

"Just a bit," I say, giving her a tight lipped smile.

"Alright. I'll go get you something to eat. Chicken noodle soup okay?" She asks.

I nod softly, and she leaves. I take the time to observe my room. The walls are a boring cream color, and there's a window on the wall to my left. Pretty boring if you ask me.

I jump when someone knocks on my door. I take a deep breath, preparing myself for what's coming.

"Come in," my throat feels scratchy and uncomfortable, and I'm surprised by how hoarse it sounds.

My dad steps in, along with Kian. Faith must be at school.

I look at my dad long enough to notice the dark circles under his eyes, his messed up hair and worried eyes. The guilt that I am then reason he look like this makes me look away.

"Olivia," dad breathes. My heart aches.

I force myself to meet his eyes. They soften as soon as they meet mine, and tears start forming. He rushes toward me.

"Olivia, don't you ever do that to me again." He cries out. I wrap my arms around him and break down.

"I'm sorry dad, I'm so, so sorry." I sob. I see Kian making his way to my other side, silent tears rolling down his face.

I hold on to them both, my broken heart slowly stitching iteself back together.

*****

My doctor opens the door and steps into my room.

"Hi, Olivia. How're you feeling today?" He asks happily.

I give him a fake smile. "Great!" I assure him.

He nods. "Great. You should be able to go home today." I sigh. I've been in this hellhole for about a week. When I first got here, I was apparently unconscious for a couple of hours before I finally woke up.

"Wonderful, so if you'd just follow me I can get you signed out." He opens the door, letting me go first. He walks us over to where my dad and Kian is, and they stand up when they see me.

"Is she ready to leave?" Dad asks.

"Yep, she's all healed up. If you could just come over here, Mr. Allen."

I turn to look at Kian. His eyes search mine. I sigh, and he wraps me in a bear hug.

"Please don't ever do that again." He breathes.

"I won't," I whisper, only saying half of the truth.

"Lets go to the car, okay?"

I nod, and we walk silently to the car.

I can't tell that deep down, Kian is hurt that I did this and didn't tell him anything about my depression getting worse. That I lied to him.

Kian opens the door out of the hospital, and I'm hit hit with a wave of fresh air. I breathe it in, savoring the smell.

"What's happened since I've been gone?" I ask him.

He sighs. "Well, no one knows what happened yet, and we don't plan on telling anyone. You can just say you had the flu or something. Some people have called to see if you were okay, like Hazel and Jayce and Ethan." He explains.

Hmm. So people did care. Interesting.

But would they care if you were really gone?

Probably not.

Kian puts the key in the ignition, and the car roars to life.

"Dad drove himself. We can leave now, while he signs you out."

"Okay."

We drive back to our house, no music, no talking. No sounds.

The silence gives me time to think.

Do I regret my attempt? Not really. Do I feel guilty? Yes. That was probably the most selfish thing I have ever done, trying to take my life when dad had it even harder than I do. His wife left him, for pete's sake.

Kian pulls into the driveway and I open my door.

I speed walk to the front door, not wanting to talk to Kian. It just feels awkward.

I burst through the door and run upstairs to my room. I plop down on my bed, loving the familiarity that comes with laying there. Years of memories flood my mind.

One of me and Amelia jumping on the bed, we were around 10 years old.

"Jump higher, Amelia!" I shout, laughing. Amelia giggles and the bed bounces beneath us.

"Do you promise to be my best friend forever?" She asks, still jumping.

"Of course I promise!" I assure her. "I'll always be there for you."

"And I'll always be there for you, too."

The next is me and Kian, in 8th grade, looking at our yearbook.

"Look at that kid! He was stupid enough to wear a green shirt!" Kian laughs, pointing at a kid whose shirt disappeared with the background.

I burst out laughing. "Oh my god!" I clutch my stomach. "I can't breathe!" I wipe a tear away from my eye.

"I can feel abs forming from laughing so hard!" Kian yells out.

My eyes start drooping, my mind drifting off into sleep.

I don't notice I'm crying until the tears drop onto my hand.

*****

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