Secrets.

Chapter 11;

"Justin, Seriously, Leave me alone." I yelled, I was overly pissed off. 

My dad first of all, was being an asshole to me the whole entire day.  Before I could even say anything he had started on me about staying with him in Atlanta.

Hell no I wasn't staying with him. 

I know I had somewhere to stay in California, and I had enough clothes to last. I didn't have anything at my dads house that meant so much to me that I had to get it. I'm also 19, almost 20 why the hell can't i make decisions for myself? Its always for someone else never for myself. 

"Why the hell are you getting pissed at me?" He said back at me, I guess he wasn't over last night.

"Because I told you to leave me the fuck alone 3 times already!" 

"Well you know you're not the only one feeling bad today right?" He was yelled at me,

"Do I give a fuck!?" I asked, but I was yelling. 

"Obviously not. You're only giving a fuck about your self right now."

"I gave a fuck about you last night!" 

"Does it fucking matter?" He took a step closer, "I said right now" His voice got deeper. 

Like Jermy's did before he hit me. 

I didn't respond, instead I closed my eyes. I just wanted everything to stop. 

I felt his hands grab me, but it wasn't rough. 

I didn't realize I was holding my breath until I let it go in his chest. 

I held onto him so tight. "Are you okay?" He mumbled in my ear. 

I started to get shaky, "Yeah." My voice came out shaky as well. 

I was so scared. I didn't think Justin would ever hit me, but I was still afraid. You never know what could happen. One word can make someone go insane, and I was yelling at him and I know he hates when people yell at him. 

"Why are you shaking then?" His hand ran up and down my back, "And you're holding on to me like I'm gonna go somewhere." 

I opened my eyes finally. I just looked into his chest, trying to breathe right. "I was just-"

"Demily you know I would never hurt you right?" He cut me off, probably figuring it out. "I could never hit you okay? I wouldn't ever, don't ever think I would. No matter how mad I am. You mean to much to me to be hit." He pulled me back a little, "Do you hear me?"

I nodded. "It's that," My words got caught up, "I dont know, I- okay." I wanted to be in his chest again, knowing I was safe. 

"What did I do?" He asked, "To make you like this?" 

I couldn't talk. 

I hope I wasn't getting bad again. 

"Demily are you okay? Do you need your medicine?" 

I shook my head 'no', I hated taking it so bad. "I'm fine." My voice was shaky. 

"Do you need to lay down? You want me to get you something to drink? Demily quit shaking please? You're scary me."

"No, I'm fine." I mumbled, "Just hold me."

Justin ;

After Demilys' break down earlier I didn't know how to act. She helped me the night before, like a lot, but she wasn't taking her own advice of stop crying and be happy. She said "I have no one to be happy for" I was gonna say ME, but it would have been selfish.