it's for the best

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The song at the top is so sad and it goes with this chapter I recommend hearing it
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"I can't bealive your in here!" Oh oh I think I'm in trouble, okay let's pretend we're sleeping so he won't bother us.

"Jocelyn get up. I know your not sleeping" I heard something open and I was forced to stand up. Squeezing my eyes shut I dragged myself out of there.

"Does anybody know that this girl just wants to sleep." I groaned, still on my act of being the sleepy person.

We were now outside the police station, my eyes now opened and showing that I was truly awake.

"I can't believe you ended up in here Jocelyn. What did you do this time?" Pops didn't look pleased with my presence at the moment. I wasn't pleased with him screaming but I think he can figure that out really quickly.

"Dad not now I've had a bad day can we discuss this tomorrow." I said not in the mood for anything.

"Oh no you don't young missy we are going to have a long talk." His eyes were wide. I might of made him drive for a long time and he is now cranky.

I stood up right and looked him in the eye. I was forcing myself to talk about whatever just so he won't get more mad than he already is.

"Okay" I sighed and crossed my arms. "What do you want to talk about?" I was seriously bored of everything at the moment. It was still dark outside. The only light was the moon and the buildings.

"Why were you thrown in a holding cell?" He asked, veins popping out from his neck. It looked almost comical, if I wasn't the one getting yelled at or wouldn't of had the worst day of my life I would be laughed right now.

"Because I accidentally poured a drink on a cop lied to his face and ran away from him." I said it like it was nothing.

"You what Jocelyn?!" Ohh he is definitely mad.

"I-"

"Shut it! Jocelyn I don't want you to explain anything to me. Why can't you just grow up, your acting as if your still a little spoiled girl. Grow up Jocely this isn't good!"

"Your hurting your self! You are acting so immature lately." Yeah right like he would know how I'm acting. I don't even talk to my dad how would he know how I act. His time is forced on Laura.

"I wish... I just wish" He sighed

I raised an eyebrow at him. "What do you wish for? DAD!?"

"Why couldn't you be more like Laura!" I could manage what he said to me but asking, NO more like wishing for me to be more like Laura. Couldn't he have said something else like, why couldn't I be more like fried chicken.

I saw red. The anger I was feeling at the moment can not be explained. This is the worst thing he could say to me. To his own daughter! The girl HE failed to take care of because he was 'working'. The daughter that thinks being around her own father is awkward.

"Oh really?" I said a fake smile plastered on my face. "You want me to be like Laura?" I laughed out loud, it was so fake it might as well be Kim Kardashian.

"Jocelyn that's not what I meant." He said guilt in his eyes.

"Yeah dad it wasn't what you meant?" I yelled my lungs hurting "so, why did you say it! Huh? Why did you? I don't get why you asked me to come here for christmas and then you yell at mw then ask me to be more like a girl that is not your daughter. She isn't your daughter, she is just your slutty wife's daughter." It went by so quickly, I couldn't even comprehend what was happening, his hand suddenly came in contact with my cheek. Tears were streaming down.

I held my cheek and looked at him in disbelief.

"I HATE YOU SO FUCKIN MUCH DAD!" From there I just ran I didn't know where I was going but I ran. I was running away from my problems like the coward I am. I couldn't handle this anymore, I hate my life so much.

Why couldn't I be like Laura? She was perfect right? She has my dads love now. Maybe she even had it before me because I heard my mom that night they decided to finally get the divorce.

I remember her words so clear 'you would rather be with that women and her daughter than your actual wife and daughter!' I was under the bed because for some reason it was my favorite spot to sleep at. It would relaxed me but that night didn't relax me. It made mad and depressed.

'Maybe I do?!' Dad yelled back I decided to ignore that. No body would want their dad to admit that he doesn't love them. It's like telling somebody that your favorite band broke up.

No wonder Laura always saw me as her threat. She thought I was going to steal MY dads love from here. When she actually had all of it and left me empty. She had all of it, she was so selfish.

Laura didn't have a dad. He left them for another woman, but she got it better. Her mom decided to get it on with a married man. A man that had made a compromise to a women he loved. He broke it, he broke everything.

According to me mom, the affair was going for 4 years, she knew but she wanted to ignore it. I must've been 7 years old when it began. Dad was never there for my birthday. Wasn't it a coinsidence that me and Laura shared the same birthday.

Suddenly bright lights snapped me out of my thoughts. I didn't move. I didn't care. I was still, maybe this is for the best, it could end my sadness. Nobody would care.

My dad had Laura as his daughter. My mom was hardly home anymore because of her job. My friends seem annoyed with me, and the guy I might have a crush on doesn't like me back.

He is to busy with Laura. The girl that deserves everything and deserves to be happy.

The pain consumed me. Physically and mentally. My side hurt so bad but I ignored it, black dots clouded my vision. I let it come to me. There was no point in fighting. I hated my life anyway, so why keep it.

I don't care, and most certainly nobody cares either.

I let my thoughts go with my pain and embraced the darkness that consumed me.

'It's for the best' I thought.

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What did I just write? I have no words.😖😯😑

Uhh.. vote/ share/ comment your thoughts because at the moment I'm in complete shock. Okay I'm gonna go cry myself a river and regret my life decisions

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