The Chaotic Interim (boyxboy)

Chapter 23

Josiah couldn’t help the frown that took over his facial features when Carson had walked away from the car. Try as he might not to feel that way, it still kind of got under his skin that Carson wanted almost nothing to do with him lately.

It had been impossible not to notice that everything that Josiah tried in order to get closer to the younger boy, he was always met with resistance. And the times that Carson did give in and hang out with Josiah, the amount of reluctance put into it was clearly evident in his actions and tone of voice.

It was hard for Josiah not to take it personally. Over the weekend, his mind had been going nonstop. He lay awake for hours just thinking about what he was doing, how wrong and selfish it was, and about Carson in general. He really did love him a lot, and he was embracing that. He never once, for even a second, forgot about Ayden, but he still decided that he was going to accept it and just do what his instincts told him to.

The difficult part, though, was that his instincts wanted him to be with Carson, and Carson’s instincts blatantly wanted them to be apart. It was very conflicting to the older boy, who was already struggling with the fact that all of a sudden he was interested in another guy. Now, to have that guy rejecting him so consistently, it felt like he was being torn at by angry hyenas or something.

Then, as if he were trying to rub salt into the festering wound in Josiah’s chest, Carson randomly dropped the therapy bomb on him the night before. Josiah had been studying for his next final exam in the kitchen when the brunet had strolled in, acting all casual, and asked if he could get a ride.

Of course Josiah agreed. If Carson wanted or needed to do this, then he would be there to help him out, but there was no lying about how much it still hurt to know that the brunet didn’t want to confide in Josiah. And once again, the sage-eyed boy found himself trying desperately not to take it so personal.

Sighing as he watched Carson slowly walk into the building and then disappear, Josiah scratched at his head through his curls. He rolled his eyes at himself, and the whole situation, really, before putting his car into drive and leaving the crowded parking lot.

The dark-haired boy had told his friend that he was going to go see Ayden while he waited, but that was actually a lie. He didn’t think he could handle going to see her after everything he had done wrong in the last few days. He and Carson hadn’t gone to visit her during the weekend, and somehow it made things slightly more bearable for the older boy.

Wanting to continue living in the little bubble of ignorance, he had decided he was going to go visit his mom instead. Josiah checked the time on the radio and noted that he was right on time. His mom should be going on her lunch break soon.

When he got to the courthouse he went through the security check and then headed towards the department his mother worked in. When he walked up to the counter he could see her sitting in her little cubicle area a ways behind it. Lanai looked up just in time to see her son waving to her, and a smile instantly lit up her face.

Josiah had to wait a few seconds for her to grab her lunch bag and then walk out of the door to where he was standing.

“Oh, what a pleasant surprise,” Lanai said, hugging her son tightly. When she stepped back, she gestured for him to follow her. “Let’s head down to the break room and we can talk. So what brings you here? Are you visiting Ayden?”

Josiah bit his lip as he walked next to his mom. “Not exactly.”

Lanai turned to give her son a curious look. “Where’s Carson?”

“I just dropped him off at his first therapy session.”

Understanding filled in the woman’s expression and she nodded. “Oh, I see. I’m not sure whether I’m surprised it took this long or that he gave in so early. You can kind of never tell with that boy.”