The Man I Love (Cashby)

"Tell me Alan!"

Chapter 12

Austin's POV
When Alan left I paced around the living room. I wanted to fucking kill James. How could he do something like that to someone so precious. Alan was perfect in every way, shape, and form. I wanted him here with me right now. I wanted to wrap him in my arms and never let go. That ginger had me wrapped around his finger. I would do anything and everything for him. I groaned and banged a fist on the wall.

"Dude, you okay?" Tino spoke up. I forgot he was even in the room.
"Yea...not really, I don't know." I sat on the couch and pulled out my phone. I texted Alan a quick hey, I needed some form of communication with him to know he was okay.
"What's messing with you dude?" Tino said moving from the recliner to the couch.
"Just...Alan."
"The dude who just left?"
"Yes him." I told Tino (Phone STOP correcting Tino to Toni I mean it) everything, after I swore him to secrecy. His first plan of action was to go to the police. He was furious. After that plan was shot down, he suggested I try to steal Alan away. I told him  that no matter how many times I tried to get Alan to fall in love with me, he was too in love with James to realize anything.

"One of the things that hurt me most is that Alan can't realize how great he actually is."
"How so?" Tino said.
"Alan can't stand himself. He doesn't see how beautiful he is. James tells him he's not good enough and that he's worthless. Alan even had to be put into the hospital once for an eating disorder because James told him he needed to lose a couple pounds. All Alan wants to do is be perfect for James, but what he needs to realize is that he's already perfect."
"Show him Austin. Treat him how he should be treated."
"I'm trying Tino, I really am."
"Give it time." He said. I nodded and glanced at my phone still no text from Alan.

Alan's POV
~time skip of about a week and a half~
"I'm sorry." I muttered quietly to James.
"That fucking hurt Alan." He said holding his nose. I had been siting on his lap when he tried to tickle me. I had flung my arms around and accidentally hit him in the nose. Once that happened he flung me off the couch and I landed against the side of the coffee table. He started screaming and now here I am. Knees tucked up to my chest and shaking slightly. I didn't mean to do it.
"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING!" He yelled and I looked up at him. He looked angry. When doesn't he. He grabbed my wrist and jerked me up to stand.
"I get it was an accident Alan, but why the fuck where you ignoring me?" He said through gritted teeth. I tried to shrink into myself as much as I could. I just looked at the floor.
"I don't know." I said in a whisper.
"Don't lie to me." He grabbed my chin and made me look at him.
"Tell me Alan!" He screamed in my ear.
"I was afraid you were going to hurt me!" I yelled and jerked away from him.

My eyes filled with tears and I couldn't stop them from spilling over.
"Alan baby..."
"Don't Alan baby me James. Don't you ever acknowledge the bruises you leave on me. The nights I cry myself to sleep because you manipulated me to think I did something wrong." I said my breathing was uneven and I didn't realize half of what I was saying.

"Alan your an idiot. What are you even talking about." He said coming to wrap me in his arms. I tried to jerk free but he held me tighter. I started hitting his chest as hard as I could.
"I don't love you anymore James!" I screamed and fell to my knees and out of his arms. He took a step back and looked down at me. "I can't love you. You've took me way past my breaking point." I said sobbing.

"Who's gonna love you then Alan?" He questioned, once again bringing my face to look at him. "Your a mess," he laughed "Look at you pathetic, lying on the floor crying your wittle eyes out. Poor baby. Listen to me Alan your mine and you may not believe it but I do love you. I look over your imperfections and try to keep you in line. No one else would do that for you. No one else could put up with you. Alan baby I'm the only one who has ever cared." His hand stroked my cheek. "Your flaws made you imperfect. Some might even say unlovable, but I managed to love you Alan. Can you not see." His voice raised. "All I do is try to make you see reason. I work I take care of you. I do it all and all you can do is screw up." He jerked me up and I stayed as still as possible. He raised his hand back and I prepared myself for an impact. Instead he brushed a piece of hair behind my ear. He placed his lips on mine then whispered in my ear. "Your my little worthless screw up." My eyes filled with more tears. "I love you Alan baby." He said and stuck his lips to mine. I left my lips unresponsive and he pulled my head harder to his. "Kiss back now." He whispered. I did as told with reluctance. His hand traveled lower and lower till he grabbed my ass and then he took my hand leading me upstairs.

He laid on the bed and I was preparing for the worst. Instead he pulled me close and whispered in my ear. "Your mine. Every inch." He said the he laid his head back on the pillow and went to sleep. I was tired of it all. I needed to leave and that's what I was going to do.