Pretty Face, Heart of Ice (OHSHC)

The Raw, Cold Truth

They're ripping at me. Pulling at my flesh, and speaking in cooing whispers. "All your fault. All your fault." They coo over and over again. At first, I struggle, but eventually, I give in to the monsters. Guilt monsters. 'They're right. It is my fault.' I think, and the guilt monsters nod hungrily. Then something awful happens. The biggest guilt monster floats in front of my face, and takes on the shape of Hotaku. "Momma!" I yell and leap into her arms. But rather than the warm feeling, I feel nothing but cold. Then Hotaku's voice cut through me like a steel knife. "You disgust me daughter. It's your fault I died." She said sharply. The next instant, Momma is gone and in her place is a guilt monster. They hold me against some kind of wall and begin eating away at me. Eating away until there is nothing. Nothing but and empty husk that can speak, walk, and act as though there was still a person inside. Still the whispering. "All your fault. All your fault." I know the monsters are right, so I simply submit and decide to take a nap. "No. You must awaken. Face your guilt. Wake up... Wake up Yuki!" You're going to be late!" Haruna was yelling at me. Wait, Haruna? The guilt monsters dispersed and I was still in my bed. I looked at my alarm and jumped up. "No way! It's nine thirty!" Then the realization hit me. "Haruna!" I yelled. "It's the weekend!" I was angry, and still tired. Haruna grinned. "I needed some way to wake you up." She laughed. I glared at her, and remembered the guilt monsters. "Listen, some girls called and said they were coming over." Haruna said. "Okay." I said. I heard yelling outside and looked out the window to see the Book Readers. When they got to the door, Nayeli was speaking. "Look. It's not worth arguing about. Hey Yuki! Thought we'd stop by." My eyes bugged. They had decided to come to my house?!

***
When they got to my room, Hannah had an absolutely brilliant idea. Note the sarcasm. "Let's play truth or dare!" She grinned. "I'll go first. Allora, truth or dare?" She grinned. Allora's brow furrowed. "Dare?" She said nervously. Hannah drummed her fingers together with an unsettling look on her face. "I dare you..." She began whispering in Allora's ear. Allora's jaw dropped. Then she smiled. "Okay." They grinned at each other. "Allora's dare comes later. Your turn Allora!" Hannah announced. "All right. Zahra, truth or dare?" Allora looked triumphant. "...Truth!" Zahra said immediately. "Okay... What's your favorite book?" Allora said. Zahra hesitated. "I can only choose one?" She looked distressed. "I might hurt my other books feelings. Buy obviously, it's Harry Potter." All of them clapped. "Amazing show of bravery, Zahra!" Hannah clapped. 
"Izzi, truth or dare?" Izzi looked up from her art. "Oh... Um... Dare!" She said. "Speak only in famous book quotes until I say otherwise." Zahra said.
                               ***
Ten minutes later, Zahra finally freed Izzi from her dare. "Nayeli, truth or dare?" Izzi asked. "Truth." Izzi thought for a moment. "Is the meatloaf story really true?" She laughed. "Yeah." Nayeli looked embarrassed. "I sorry, but what are you guys talking about?" I asked. "At our old school, the schools meatloaf was so awful that me Zahra, and Hannah ate it, and it made us hallucinate that everyone was a taco." Nayeli said. "Really?" I was struggling to hold in my laughter. "Yeah. We tried to eat the lunch lady." Hannah said. "Well, she was a lunch lady." Zahra said, elbowing Allora. "Get it? Lunch Lady?"
            I just couldn't hold it in. I laughed. Not a dainty little "ha ha," but a big belly laugh. Everyone was laughing, me so hard it hurt a bit. "Nayeli... It's your turn..." Hannah was trying to pull it together. We all were. "Right. Yuki, truth or dare?" Nayeli asked.
        It felt like everything stopped at that moment. I froze, like a deer caught in the head lights. Like a woman who's daughters foolish cry betrayed her location. "Yuki?" Hannah asked, not her usual crazy, wacky self. This new Hannah was concerned and attentive. "You okay?" I looked up. These people whom I had barely known for two weeks were so concerned about me.
         "Yeah. Truth." But I didn't even sound convincing to myself. "Alright. Where's your mom?" She asked.
        It was like the time I had climbed a tree in our yard and fallen asleep. Then, I had fallen out of the tree and hit the ground. All the wind had been knocked out of me, and I could only lie there, gasping for air, unable to cry out, scream, or call for help. That was how I felt when Nayeli asked her question. Unable to move, speak, and barely breathing.   "My mom... My mom was shot dead." I whispered.
       The guilt monsters had never come when I was awake. But then they did. I clutched my stomach, in severe pain. I felt a hand in my shoulder. I heard voices, but it was as if I was underwater. Then, a single word made its way through the water and crawled into my ear. Cry. This word seemed to pull me back up, out of my ocean of the tears which I held back.
     "What?" I asked. Hannah smiled sorrowfully at me. "You look like you need to cry. Crying makes it better." She said. "You're wrong." I snapped. Hurt flashed across her face. "Crying doesn't make it better. Crying singles you out as weak, and makes others cry. Crying means you don't have the guts to even pretend everything's okay. It only drags you down." I was screaming.
       Then, Allora asked me a question that would puzzle me for years to come. "Is that really what you believe?"