Forsaken

Chapter Four

When I woke up, I immediately sat up. There was blood and semen running down my leg. I took the sheet that was beneath me and tried rubbing the blood and semen off of me, but the stains remained. I looked down to where my deceased brother laid. His eyes were open but there was no life in them. I jumped off the bed and dropped to his side. I slapped him a couple times hoping he was faking or just sleeping, but he wasn't.

I let my head rest in the crook of his neck and I just sat there and cried. I noticed that it was silent in the house. The party must've ended and everyone left, but where were the police? I kissed my brother, and saw my soiled pair of panties laying next to him. I quickly put them on and walked out of the bedroom. My heart just melted away, but I knew I needed to find help. I walked through the hallway and there were solo cups and random trash everywhere. I went room to room and oddly Jeff, the host of the party, was nowhere to be seen. I slowly and quietly went downstairs, my thighs and insides ached but now was not the time to rest.

There was nobody in the living room, kitchen or basement. Everyone, including Jeff, really left. I kept searching the house and as I was re-entering the living room I tripped over something or someone. It was pretty dark, but I could make out the shape of what I tripped on. I looked around and found someone's cellphone left on the floor. The screen was shattered, but surprisingly it still worked. I turned the flashlight on, and flashed it on the thing that I tripped on. I instantly became sick, and wanted to throw up. A girl's body was laying on the floor with a pool of blood coming from the neck area. I put the shattered phone down, front side up and shook her. Sadly I knew that she was dead as well. Tears spilled from my eyes once again, and I left the girl on the floor. Then I heard voices and lights flashing around the house, and I panicked. I did what I thought was the only option left, I fled.

I ran into the kitchen and I didn't hear anything or see any lights. I thought the coast was clear. I opened the kitchen window, and climbed out. The air was cold and brisk, and the sky was dark because it was night. I heard voices coming towards my general direction, so I sprinted to the bushes. I dived and hid in them and looked through the small leaves. Two men, I believe were police officers, with flashlights and walkie-talkies were searching the perimeter of the house. They were whispering so low that I couldn't tell what they were saying. Once they were on the other side of house I sprinted towards home. I couldn't take my car because it would make too much noise and attract attention. I made sure to be vigilant and to stay hidden in the shadows, I surprisingly knew the streets I was walking on, so it didn't take me long to get home.

My father's car was in the driveway and the windows of his room faced it. I tip-toed to the back of the house and looked for any open windows. The kitchen windows were unlocked, so I opened them and climbed through them. I walked through the dark and made my way to the dining room. I quietly went up the stairs trying not to make any noises to wake my father up, when I reached my room I slowly closed the door and locked it. The series of events that happened hours ago played in my head like a movie, but this "movie" was driving me to insanity. I paced around my room hopefully to get my mind off of it, but it continued and it brought me to the lifeless body that belonged to my brother. There he laid on the floor with his eyes open, but no source of life coming from them. I remembered he tried to save me, and that guy named Mark killed him. I wanted to scream, but the slumber of my father kept me from doing it. I paced some more as the events kept playing, and I just couldn't take it. I unlocked my door and went downstairs to the kitchen, I opened through drawers looking for anything. My hand found a thick and sharp butcher knife and I quietly raced back to the bathroom, and locked myself inside. I didn't turn on the light. The light coming from the moon, from the window, helped me to see. I looked at myself in the mirror and I just felt dirty, useless and disgusting. My make-up was smudged all over my face, and my body went completely rigid, and I placed the knife on the sink.

I held my chest, and my heart was beating as fast as the speed of light. As I was rubbing my chest in hopes of soothing my aching heart I felt a small but hard bump from my right breast. I pulled out whatever that was in my bra, and I realized it was my blackberry. I stared at it as if it was a foreign object to me, and placed it on the sink as well.

I looked at myself again in the mirror, and I bursted into tears. I couldn't stop myself from crying. So I let the tears spill out of my stinging and irritated eyes. I was surprised I still had tears left in me. I kept thinking about what happened tonight, and couldn't help but wonder why I was still alive. My whole life had been shattered ever since my mother died. Somehow it just kept getting worse and now I'm over life. I was crying pretty hard now and I tried looking at the sink where I placed my phone and the knife. I was about to reach for the knife, but instead I grabbed my phone. I started punching in numbers for a suicide hot-line, that I called at one point after my mother died. Since then, I've remembered the phone number and kept it in my contacts list just in case I ever needed it.

     Before I do the permanent deed, I need some sort of last resort. Maybe, if this person truly cares about me then maybe they can help me. If they do not help me then no one can. It's time that I join my mother and Ryan. Hopefully I will see them again and maybe my father can join us too some day so we can be a family again. Just maybe.