Can't I Even Dream? ~Gaara~

Chapter 24

The music ended, cheers and chants filling the air around me and my friends. We were all here, Jaeli, Gonta, Foyz, Cereza, the siblings, Iku, Asoka, and me. Of course Kota wasn't here, which caused us to have to make some changes to what we were originally were going to do. We made it. America. I had called Miss Macy two weeks ago saying we needed to continue with the plans and go. Late as we were, the crowd didn't seem to mind the month that had passed since our original concert date.

The light didn't seem as blinding as usual, the music and the cheers not as defining. There was definitely a weight pulled from me knowing what I knew. With an encouraging push from Jaeli, Asoka, and Iku, I walked forward, a techie handing me a mic. From the corner of my eye I caught sight of the red hair of the one I love and the feeling of my ring on my finger brought a smile to my face, that for once on stage was not forced, was not there to hide how sick I was feeling, or was there because I was afraid of Onsenchi's wrath.

My smile was real and alive. And my voice became strong as I began what was to be the end. Not for me, not for my story, but for the torture and pain, for the silence of myself and others like me. "Everyone, I want to say thank you. For the past eight years you all have supported me and cheered me on. It's an amazing feeling to know that my music has reach so many." My English is horrible and I knew they were broadcasting this in Japan as well, so I spoke Japanese, and English translator following everything I said.

"We love you!" A girl cried out in the crowd, bringing out another round of cheers.

"I love you too. Really." I looked over to Gaara at his encouraging smile. "But tonight, I'm going to bring something to everyone's attention. I don't mean to bring down anyone's mood, but this is important." It was quiet and I took a deep breath. "My mother signed me to a record company when I was eight years old. She never asked for my permission, the producers never asked if I was okay with it. They changed my hair and told me I was not allowed to wear any form of pants, I couldn't eat what I wanted, I wasn't allowed to go play outside very often. These were all the orders of my producer Uta Onsenchi." My eyes cast down. "He changed my name to Esendo."

There were many gasps and murmurs through the crowd as the translator finished. This is something that needs said, and now that I've started, I can't stop. "But there was some good in everything. While running from overwhelming fans I met my best friend. It was because of him that I stuck to music and worked hard. He made everything bearable and stood up for me when Onsenchi began to berate me because I demanded my music be what I sing. For so many years I was abused and put down and denied my childhood."

Finally my voice became impassioned, taking on a whole new tone, riling people up. "He took away my life. Not long ago, he took something of mine that is very important to me. A song I had written long ago. It was mine and Gaara's song and he took it! He said if I wanted to keep the song I had to date Kota Higurashi. Although after awhile he began to add to the agreement, making me a slave. The night we were supposed to come here, my home village was attacked and my best friend kidnapped. Gaara's being taken was devastating, not only to me, but to everyone. The village was shaken. But yet Onsenchi and Kota came to me that night and tried to force me to leave to come here, giving no concern to what was happening or how any of us felt. They might have succeed if everyone hadn't come to help me."

My friends all came around me, hugging me, leaning on me, messing with me. It caused a lot of people to laugh and my heart felt warm from the love everyone was giving. "So now I stand here today to ask you all to help me save young children who live lives like mine, to help bring awareness to child abuse and thievery in the performing arts and protect children and artist in the business. Bring an end to the tyranny!" The crowd exploded in cheers and calls, people impassioned and ready to make a difference.

Gaara continued to smile from back stage, proud. I smiled back, my hand unconsciously touching my belly. I did check with a doctor to make sure it was safe to perform while pregnant. As long as no one hits my stomach or presses on it to hard, the is no danger in the first trimester. "I want to tell you guys something else. I'm officially taking a leave of absence from music." Many people called out their disapproval. "Please. I'm not quitting. There is something I need to do though, something that has taken music's place in my heart. For next time you see me on a stage, I won't be Esendo Yakamura. I will be Chinsei of the Desert, a wife... and mother." My hand caressed little nemo as my tummy grew warm. Such a smart baby.

"Now, we would to sing a very special song for you. One that I never intended to share, but after working so hard to make it mine again, I find it only fitting that after my friends helped me save it, they should help me sing it the one and only time in front of a crowd."

I sat on the stage, my dress fanning out, Cereza sat next to me, looking up at me like I was about to tell a story. Jaeli sat next to her and Asoka and Irina were on my other side. The four boys stood behind us and the music started. Each of us sang the delicate words, holding them on our tounges like glass.

"On a small Little shore, where the giant big waves roar." My eyes watched Gaara for a moment, and I saw him there, a smile on his face, eyes closed, as he gently mouthed the words to the song, our song.