Homophobic (l.s)

Chapter 18

Louis feels like a complete and utter idiot; staring at his clothes that are piled at the foot of his bed. What do normal people wear on dinner dates? Where is the line between fancy and casual? He hadn't felt this much panic in so long and he was honestly really regretting his sudden act of courage. He really shouldn't have asked Jax on a date. He should be sitting at home watching a movie with a bottle of whiskey. However, going out will help heal the pain inside. Louis swallows hard and decides on a pair of black chinos and a plain grey t-shirt and a navy-blue jumper. It's probably a little too casual but at the end of the day, Louis couldn't give a fuck. As long as he is comfortable. This is who he is. He isn't a fancy person, and never will be. He's already shaved his stubble and fixed his hair up. He's basically dressed and ready but he just doesn't feel ready for this.

"Why did you do this?" He groaned to himself, pacing his bedroom.

Is it wrong to just text and cancel?

That thought is immediately squashed, because who even does that? A proper dickhead. And Louis doesn't want to be a dickhead. He takes a deep breath, telling himself that things will be okay. Even though every single part of him is telling him to just stay home, he decides to just force himself. Which could possibly be the worst thing he could do. He grabs his phone and car keys and leaves the house. His mind is whirring and he doesn't even know what he's thinking. Maybe he should just be honest up front and explain he isn't looking for a relationship.

But he's cute.

Louis tries to shake his own thoughts out of his head as he turns the radio to his car on. He'd rather listen to some pop trash than listen to his own thoughts second guessing him. It's Taylor Swift. Okay, maybe he'd rather listen to his own voices torment him. He looks at the radio and decides to just listen to the music. It might take some edge off. And he drives, silently. The drive seems to take half a million years and it makes Louis' anxiety go through the roof. It doesn't help when he notices Jax standing out the front of his place. Louis quickly notices he's wearing jeans and a black button up. He looks incredible. Louis slowly pulls up and tries to swallow the lump in his throat, even though his mouth is sandpaper dry. Jax quickly hops in and turns to Louis, while putting his seatbelt on.

"Hey, how's it going?"

"Yeah not too bad," Louis manages to say, focusing back on the road as he continues to drive.

"So...Taylor Swift huh? Are you a fanboy?"

"A what? Excuse me?" Louis' eyes widen, a laugh escaping his lips

"You heard me. You like to get down to T-Swizzle?"

"No. I haven't really been focusing on the radio. Feel free to change it. I don't listen to the radio much to be completely honest,"

"I don't mind Swift. She goes alright,"

Louis has about a 20 minute drive until he gets to the restaurant, but he kind of wants to just call into the pizza parlour down the road. He chews the inside of his cheek, his grip tightening on the wheel.

"Fancy some pizza?" Louis asks, smiling slightly

"I'm pretty easy. I eat about anything." Jax shrugs, looking out the window

"I'm kidding. There's a Thai restaurant in the city, it used to be one of my favourites. I haven't gone in a while. I appreciate all the food there and I thought you might too,"

The rest of the drive is just a little bit of banter. Louis starts to eventually get comfortable and finds himself relaxing a little. Jax is pretty easy to talk to, and Louis finds himself learning about Jax's life. Louis learns that his name is actually Jackson, and that he's got quite a large family. He's in the middle child. He's got both an older Brother and Sister. And two younger brothers. Jax works at a law firm, and has been single for a month. Louis enjoyed learning about him, because it took the spotlight off him. However, the whole time he can't help but think that they are truly better off as friends. But he'll still give it a go because that's the type of person he is. Once they're sitting at a table and starting to eat, Louis starts to ask what Jax is looking for in a man and that's when things change.