The Science of Deduction Does Not Extend to Relationships

Chapter 8: Lilly

Chapter 8: Lilly

            I didn’t speak to Sherlock or John the entire cab ride, keeping my eyes glued to my hands in my lap.  John seemed to sense my mood and realized it would be best not to say anything whereas Sherlock was probably just too busy lamenting not going after Moriarty to care.   When the cab finally came to a stop, I looked out the window and my eyes widened in anger.  “Take me back to my hotel NOW,” I snapped as the two men got out of the cab and headed to the front door of 221B Baker Street.

            “Don’t be ridiculous Lilly,” Sherlock rolled his eyes and turned around to give me an ‘end-of-story’ look.  I sat stubbornly in my seat and glared right back.  After roughly two minutes of this staring contest, John sighed and got back into the cab next to me. 

            “I’ll take you back if he’s going to be so pig-headed about it.”  I smiled over at John in gratitude as the cab pulled away with Sherlock staring blankly after it.  “I’m sorry about him,” John apologized smiling at me, but I had had it emotionally and burst into tears.  “Umm…er…there, there Lilly,” John stuttered, clearly at a loss, and rubbed my back awkwardly.   

            “I’m…s-s-so sorry John.  I know I’m being r-re-ridiculous because this is just how Sherlock is.  It’s just that I l-love him so much.  There, I’ve said it.” I cried even harder having finally admitted the secret that I’d been holding on to for most of my life.  I turned to John, tears still falling down my face.  “You won’t tell him, will you John?  Please say you won’t!”

            “Of course not; I wouldn’t dream of it Lilly.” John soothed, putting his arm around my shoulder and hugging me to his side.  “But, if you don’t mind my asking, why exactly are you so upset over Sherlock right now?  I know you well enough to know a kidnapping wouldn’t have you a mess like this.”

            I wiped my eyes with a tissue and sniffed in an unladylike and extremely unattractive fashion before explaining.  “You see, they have your entire flat bugged, you probably want to have a look into that.  Anyway, Irene Adler had a television brought into the room where we were after you and Sherlock got my call.  First off though, having a gun cocked and pointed at your head while making a call like that isn’t necessarily easy.  But more importantly, if it wasn’t for you Sherlock would have gone to where Moriarty was.  If it wasn’t for you, I’d be…I’d be…I’d be dead,” I ended in a shocked whisper.  It really sank in then and there that Sherlock had honestly contemplated letting me die just so he could catch Moriarty which, despite what we had been told, was probably a trap.  The tears began to fall once again try as I might to stay composed.

            “You…you saw all that?” John asked slightly stunned.  I could only nod in response to this.  “He didn’t mean it, Lilly.  Surely you know that?  It’s just his way, but he would never have actually let you get hurt.  It’s not his way despite how much he tries to convince everyone that he doesn’t care what happens to others.  You of all people must— ”

            “Of course I know that John.  If I didn’t know that I wouldn’t have remained friends with him for so long.  I wouldn’t be in love with him if it weren’t the case.  I love him because I see in him things 99 percent of the rest of the world doesn’t, or maybe just can’t see.  Now, I’ve accepted a long time ago that Sherlock’s never going to love me the way I love him, but that still doesn’t make it any easier to know that he considered letting me die.”

            John quirked an eyebrow at me doubtfully, “What makes you think Sherlock won’t return your feelings?”  I could tell that John was being completely serious, but I couldn’t help but laugh a little at this.