Jack Dark (on hold)

chapter 3

Once again,  sorry if there are any mistakes with wording or grammar but it's late and I had to post this. I know you might be (or will be) confused by this but it will make sense later on. 

Will,

For the past two years I thought I was all good after you left us, but I was wrong. I have done a great job at faking with my parents, friends, and even myself. No one would ever think that I am still sad. My old friend Kait and her brother Ben don't even know what happened. And I don't what them to know. Is that wrong of me?

I know you would want me to talk to someone about this but I just can't. The pain I put my parents through the two months after you were gone was bad enough. What do you want me to do? It sucks that you can never answer me back.

It has been a month since I lost wrote and I'm sorry but these past few days have been busy and today I ran into a very old friend. I don't know what to do about him. He was a sweet boy when he was younger but now he's cold and rude. You wouldn't like him, you would think he's bad news but I'm the only one he's actually tries to be nice to.

Mike, my new boss, let me leave early today and was glad to start my weekend early. Had a crappy week at work and home and could tell depression was coming on again. I still had some pills from the first time but I will need a refill soon and I don't want my parents to know about it. I guess it's a good thing I have a job and earning my own money.

So, as I left work this afternoon I wasn't really paying much attention to where I was going since I was texting Kait but I happened to see a pair of familiar boots. I looked up to see Jack Dark reading a FBI book. The bookmark in his hand poked up from between the pages and had a picture on it about a new movie that came out recently.

"Lily? What are you doing here?" he asked standing up and putting the bookmark in and standing. I coudn't say anything. I just stood there frozen to the spot even though I wanted to turn and run away.

"I work here," I said instead. I must have looked as bad as I felt because he jumped up and rushed me to the chair across from his and went inside for a drink. When he came back I saw that he was trying to hold back a laugh, but I was confused to what was funny. I didn't really care enough to ask so I just took the drink from him as he sat down. 

"How long have you worked here for?" he asked pushing the book to the side and sat back into his chair. I didn't answer him at first and just took sips from my drink. Suddenly I was nervous to talk to him. Ever since I came back home I had been trying to find a reason to go and talk to him but was too scared. It felt like I was back in school and didn't know anyone and couldn't speak your language. 

"About a week now," I finally said after awhile and looked down at a weed in front of me and tried to crush it with my foot. Jack followed my eyes and then looked back up to me after watching my foot for a few seconds. I had no idea why he was there and just tried to tell myself that he just came for a drink and to read a FBI book he might have gotten from next door. I only knew this because I had been eyeing the same book but couldn't make myself spend $10 on it. 

We sat there for a good twenty minutes saying nothing else before I looked down at my watch and stood up to leave. I looked over at him and knew that he was fine with me not saying much. I think he knew something was eating at me but wanted to give me space.

"Good to see you," I said as he stood up and grabbed his book. Without thinking I threw my arms around him and gave him a quick hug before letting go and walking off to my car. I had been wanting to talk to him and just wasted 30 great minutes because I was nervous, scared, or both. What happened to me these past two years? 

If you hadn't gone off and left us and I hadn't got depressed then this might have turned out differently. I might be calling you right now in stead of writing, even though Mom would kill me for the long distance call. But you know Mom, she would be over it with in seconds if she knew I was talking to you again. 

                                                                                     L