Broken Brent [bxb]

Part 1-1. AA Stands For Another Annoyance

I hate it here. I don't like talking to people. I definitely don't like listening to whining people, we're American, we're supposed to keep everything bottled up until we have our mid-life crisis. I, like most people, don't like being forced to do things. Basically, everything here is the equivalent to something I hate. I just want to leave. When is the group leader, Ivan, going to let us go? I vote now.

"And you," Ivan motions to me with his clipboard. I guess no one ever taught him that pointing is impolite. Ten sets of eyes stare at me. Great, I can totally handle people staring at me.

I guess we don't get to leave right now.

I take a deep breath before opening my month, I hope words come out because sometimes, mostly when I'm around people, my words decide to stay in my head instead of exit threw my month. "My name's B-" I stop before I say my name; do I really want strangers to know my name when I have a friend that doesn't? No, not really.

Oh, shit, everyone is still staring at me. STOP STARING AT ME! I look at the floor. They think I'm weird, that I'm going to lie, they think I'm stupid. Everyone thinks that. I think it's because I am stupid. I look up and twenty eyes are still on me. Oh, no, no, no.

***

"Brent, relax, you can do this," Peter says as he runs his hand up and down my back. "I believe in you."

I inhale and exhale loudly, "But I don't believe in me." I lean against the back of the bench so he can't rub my back anymore.

"You will." Peter whispers in my ear.

I angle myself so I'm facing him. "How do you know that?" He can't possibly know that.

"Because I know how strong you are." He says it like it's really that simple. It's not.

"I'm not strong; I'm weak, weaker than a toddler." I turn and lean back against the bench.

"Hey." He grabs my chin and makes me face him, "I'm not talking about muscle" He smiles, "And you know it."

I smile, but only because Peter did. When you love someone just their smile can uplift your mood.

I go to shake my head, but he refuses to let my chin go. I look up at him and open my mouth to speak instead he pushes his lips onto mine.

After our sweet, innocent kiss he speaks, "Go, you can do it."

"If you say so," I smile at the beautiful boy before heading to the stage to start my speech. Peter believes I can do it, maybe I can.

***

In that moment I truly believed I could do it, but Peter isn't with me right now and all I want to do is crawl out of my skin to get away from everyone's eyes. I can't stand being the center of attention.

I need a drink. That's kind of why I'm here.

"You still with us?" Ivan says as he taps my knee, I jerk away.

"Y-y-yea-h" I cough, "I'm Bailey and I'm an alcoholic." I say it quickly and quietly. I hope these people will move on.

"Hi Bailey," They say in unison, it's creepy.

It's just creepy because you're a creeper. Everyone hates you, hell, even Peter hates you. Nobody likes a creeper, or a whore, for that matter.

"Alright, Bailey, do you have anything you'd like to share today?"

I shake my head; no, I don't want to share anything. I don't want to be here. I want Peter, but since I can't have him I want a drink. Now Olive is telling me I can't drink, I fear I may fall back on self-harm, again. I don't want to put my sister though that, she couldn't handle me the first four relapses. I doubt she could take an eighth.

"Alright, guys that's it for today, try to have a good one, okay?"

I freeze in my seat when Ivan adds the 'okay' to the end of his sentence. Peter always says okay; he's obsessed with that John Green book.

I start to get up, but someone touches my shoulder and I throw myself back in my seat.

"Whoa!" It's Ivan, "Didn't know you were that jumpy, you okay?"

I nod, I hope he goes away. I want him to go away.

"I just wanted to talk, is that okay?"

STOP SAYING OKAY!

I stare blankly at him, it's not okay, I'm sure Olive's going to get worried.

"I just wanted to know if-" He's staring at me and I don't like it. He's trying to get used to how ugly you are. "-you needed someone to talk to."

I shake my head. I have Olive.

"Okay," He's still looking at me. "Well if you change your mind I'd love you help you, okay?"

I nod and turn away. I'm never going to talk to him.

"One more thing," I stop, but don't look at him, "give me a call if you ever need a few bucks," He slides something into my back pocket, "Ben."

Holy shit! I stand frozen as he walks by me. Did that just happen? I must have dreamt it. There's no way Ivan...I pull a card out of my back pocket. Oh my non-existent God, Ivan knows about Ben. He knows I'm Ben.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Stop saying that!" I scream at Ivan, only it's not Ivan. It's an athletically built teenage boy with blue eyes, light brown hair and perfect cheekbones. "Peter?" I smile wide; I hope my face doesn't break. Then again, it would probably be for the best.

"Yeah," He smiles, but quickly drops it. "Why you yelling?"

"No reason," I shrug it off, but the look on his face tells me he hasn't yet dropped it, "I thought Olive was getting me." New subject maybe that'll work.

"She had to go to the doctor, so she sent...me." Peter awkwardly looks up at me. Everything between us has been awkward since we managed to rip out each other's heart only a month ago. I destroyed his and he tapped danced on mine; we took tap together, I sucked, but peter blew them away with his natural talent. I deserved worst from Peter. After all, it's my fault.

Olive sent him? That means she's trying to get us to make up, that's not happening. Peter wouldn't go for it, he isn't stupid. I, on the other hand, would love to have him wrap his arms around me once again even though I don't deserve him because unlike Peter I'm stupid. Actually, I'm a fucking moron for messing us up.

I look up at him, its awkward being around people you've slept with. "Where'd you park?"

"Around the corner, I figured we could go to lunch....."

Lunch used to be our thing. Dinner was too cheesy and breakfast was slutty, lunch was perfect.

"Do you think that's a good idea?" I look him in the eyes which is something I normally find hard to do, but not with Peter. At least I used to be able to look him in the eyes. I guess now is different because after half a second I glance away.

Peter addresses the floor, "I think it might be fun."

He thinks it would be fun. Like fun, fun? I think it'll be more awkward than anything.

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Broken Brent is planned to be updated in January, 2014. It has 21 total chapters. I hope people like it because it's really my first planned story that is actually written out. I'm updating the first chapter today because it is my birthday and I'm giving it to you as a present. I'm sorry, but, unlike the ugly purse my aunt gave me, this present cannot be returned. This chapter may get slightly edited after this update. Sorry for any inconvenience that may cause.

Let me know what you think!