Broken Pieces (Adopted by 5SOS)

Everybody's Got Their Demons

Reject's POV

When I woke up the house was eerily quiet.  I've been here for five days but I already know the boys get up before 8 every day.  They always have some interview or work to do.  Usually their less than quiet morning routine wakes me up and then I fall back asleep again.  I looked at the clock next to my bed.  It was about 9:30 AM.

I yawned and rolled over.  Maybe I can sleep a little more. 

You should go downstairs

I snuggled deeper into into the covers.  Can my brain please shut up?  I was up until almost three in the morning playing video games with Calum and Michael.  I'm really really tired.

Go downstairs and find out why it's quiet

Next I plugged my ears.  Why won't it shut up?

After a while I finally got fed with my mind harassing me about just doing a simple thing so I stumbled out of bed and down the stairs.  I looked out the window right at the top of the stairs.  A car was still in the drive way.  This was especially odd because when they all go to work they take their cars with them.

I crept into the kitchen and peeked in the open doorway to the den.  Michael was there writing intensely into a notebook.  None of the other guys were to be seen or heard.  They were all gone except for him.

Michael didn't look too well.  His hair was sticking up all over the place, obviously showing signs of a restless night.  There was a good amount of stubble covering the lower regions of his face and he hadn't even changed out of his clothes from yesterday.  I started to get a little concerned for Michael's well-being.  Is he okay?

I wanted to ask him to make sure but I didn't want to upset him.  Besides, I shouldn't talk unless I'm spoken to.  That's what I lived by when I was with my father.  They might turn on me too.

So I managed to get by Michael without being seen and went down to my art studio.  I flipped to a new page in my sketchbook and picked up a red colored pencil.  Absentmindedly I drew a heart and started coloring it in a deep crimson color.  I could feel my mind start to wander and disassociate.  I hope Michael is okay.  What is going to happen if he's not okay?  What if he dies?  I don't want him to die, I don't want anyone to die.

Instantly my mind started spinning with all kind of horrible fantasies and images.  In my head everything went wrong and I could almost see it all going down.  I could feel my body getting worked up and breathing getting heavier.  I knew that all of this was fake and just in my head but it felt so real.  Sometimes I feel like I have trouble distinguishing what is real and what isn't.

I looked back down at my heart.  Somehow while I was panicking I had filled in the heart.  A black colored pencil was now in my hand instead of a red one.  A thick jagged line ran down the middle of the heart, splitting it into two distinctive pieces.  Shadowy figures filled in the rest of the page.  The figures didn't really have any certain shape.  They were sort of like spirits, ghosts maybe.

Go upstairs

There they go again.  Those annoying intrusive thoughts.  I wish they'd just leave me alone.

Go upstairs now

So that I wouldn't have a thousand stupid words in my head, I went upstairs again.  Maybe I can get some food or something.  When I got up to the kitchen Michael was standing in front of the fridge.  I got myself a cup of tap water and set the glass down roughly so that it would make a loudish sound when it was put down.  I need to make sure he's okay.

"Huh?  What?" Michael looked around to find the source of the noise, "Oh, hi Rae."

I grabbed a whiteboard from the kitchen counter.