Broken Pieces (Adopted by 5SOS)

Firecracker Wishes

//heyo frens I'm putting a trigger warning on this chapter for self harm.  ily guys stay safe//

Reject's POV

There's something I really love about pastels.  I loved the way the strong colors looked the canvas.  But my favorite thing was the way they felt between my fingers when I blended them.  It felt so raw and natural.

This drawing was of a sunset.  I draw a lot of sunsets.  There's something romantic and special about them.  The light of the day ends, and darkness takes over.  It's equally amazing and terrifying.

Humans are taught to fear the dark.  They have a good reason to, anything could be hiding in there.  We can't see so we have to rely solely on our other senses to keep us safe.  But the thing is, once you stop fearing the night, you're free.

That's how I got through living with my father.  He either went out at night or slept.  I almost never got beaten during the night.  It was my escape.  As long as I stayed in my room I could conjure up whatever I wanted.  Everything was silent.  He could hit me all he wanted, but he'll never break my spirit.

I didn't have a voice in my head back then.  I could be left alone without the fear of them infiltrating my thoughts.  I don't know whether to call those better days.  I didn't have voices, but I was with my father.  My father was terrifying.  I have no idea where he is now.  I don't want to know where he is.  As long as he's away from me, I don't care.

I like living here with the boys.  They're nice to me.  I can give them some of my trust.  Although Luke can sometimes be scary, I feel comfortable with them.  That's a far cry from what I felt in the foster homes.  I hated foster homes.  Since I was a "special case" they moved me around every few months trying to find someone that I would bond with or whatever.  Eventually, they just kept me with Jessie because we got along reasonably well and they were running out of people that were willing to take a mute kid.

"Hey, you in here?" Michael popped his head in the doorway.

"You changed colors." I remarked.  Instead of being bright red, his hair was now black with pink in his fringe.

"I did." Michael said proudly, "The colors you picked out look great."

"I thought you were out with the rest of the rest of the guys." I vaguely remembered Ashton telling me that they were doing interviews and such for most of today.

Michael shook his head, "No, not really.  I mean they are out doing interviews and stuff, but I'm not really needed.  I'm just the unimportant guitarist."

"That's not true.  Guitarists are important.  You're important."

He's not going to believe that.  Your encouragement is dumb and it's just making him feel worse

"But Luke also plays the guitar.  People like him more than they like me." Michael said.

"People are stupid." I informed him, "If they don't like you, that's their loss.  You're awesome and I like you."

A huge smile stretched across his face, "Thanks Jasey-Rae.  That means a lot to me."

He's just pretending.  Everyone is.  They don't love you.

"That's a pretty sunset." Michael looked over my artwork, "So, what would you think of maybe taking a few art classes?"

"Art classes?  But I already know how to draw."

"I know," He said, "But art classes will help make you better.  Besides, you might make some friends.  Don't you want friends?"

"Not really."