His Butler with an Exorcist for a Mistress (chapter 11)

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Chapter Eleven

"Oh my god...Oh my god... I-I... Oh my god," Lydia covered her mouth with a suddenly unsteady hand, staring straight into both my eyes with a mixture of horror and disbelief.

I dropped the hand from my bangs, allowing them to fall back down though they didn't cover the branded eye anymore. I had seen a reaction like this coming, so why I had even bothered? For foolish hope? A childish dream?

I didn't know.

But what she did next surprised me into complete stillness.

"Wh-...What happened to it? What is this?" She questioned, hands coming up to cradle my cheeks as her concerned eyes examined the eye closely.

I had neither the strength nor the will to pull away from her grip. Instead my gaze flickered downwards, where it remained glued to the floor. I didn't regret making the contracts, but now I felt the stirs of something akin to guilt within me. Suddenly I felt filthy and untouchable. I had committed a sin so foul I was no longer redeemable.

"It's the sign of my contract," I mumbled, struggling to keep my voice from becoming softer then a whisper.

Lydia's brows pinched together at the center of her forehead. "Contract?"

I heaved a sigh and continued in a steadier voice. "The ones I told you about. You didn't believe me, so I needed to show you proof."

"These," I pointed roughly at my eye. "Are proof I sold my soul to, not one, but two demons. I am no longer welcome in through the gates of heaven because I have given up my soul in exchange for revenge on the man who did this to my family. I promised myself and these demons that I will obtain that goal in order to finally reach some peace of mind! I cannot rest until he has suffered the same pain I have and until he is rotting away like the filth he is!"

The room fell into silence with the exception of my harsh breathing as I tried to catch my breath after my rant. Admitting it out loud to someone other then myself or my two demons felt incredibly good while at the same time terrible. While I felt as if I was suddenly released from my dragging chains, I felt as if a pair of weights were strapped down onto my chest in their place. The heavy feeling of guilt was an all to familiar sensation as it settled in with a crushing force.

I pulled away from my aunt and moved backwards, placing my back to her as I gripped the back of a kitchen chair tightly. My knuckles turned white from the force, but I kept my grip firm as the trembling set in with my anger. Just the thought of the man was enough to bring the heat up into my chest and as it mixed with the feeling of guilt, my body was experiencing an emotional over drive.

"I'm not the same girl you knew ten years ago, Lydia," I whispered, voice chocked up with too many emotions. "I've made decisions and choices that will effect my fate, ones that I don't regret making... Though in the process that girl you knew died."

I bit my lip, but charged on nonetheless. "The thing I told you about the exorcists is true too. For these past ten years I have been living with a woman named Bridget Adams as my guardian, because the men who killed my parents were not humans but demons that were ordered to wipe out the entire Knight family. They didn't think I'd be safe with you and that I needed someone capable of facing off an army of demons if necessary. If any of them were ever to find out that Ciel and Sebastian are contracted to me, they'd killed us all. Contracts between humans and demons, to them at least, is considered damnable and worthy of death. It's illegal for an exorcists to leave a demon that isn't a familiar alive, let alone establish a pact with one."

Drawing in a shaky breath, I forced out the last words I wanted to say. "I realize that all this might make you hate me now... or you may even believe I do deserve death for what I've done... but I just ask one thing from you. Please-."

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