Fate Exposed

Chapter 1

It's been a month since I started college. College is college, just another form of school My schedule is pretty busy, I'm taking a lot of classes, and when I'm not taking classes Im studying, or writing papers and when I'm not doing that I'm exercising. Whatever I can do to get my mind off of Matt, my parents, Andrew. It's been a hard month. I've relapsed with my depression, I've been cutting, I can't drink because, well there wasn't a wine cellar available and i'm not 21. Yahoo. Worst of all though, my bad eating habits are back. I definitely have an eating disorder I just don't know what it is. It's not like bulimia or anorexia it's more like I go on eating binges then once I finally eat, I feel guilty so I don't eat for a couple days. Eating makes me depressed, because I feel like I'm gaining weight although I'm not. Endpoint; It's awful, it's like i'm back to stage 1 before I met Matt.

Every day I think about Matt and how much I miss him. The thoughts burden me. I hadn't talked to him since I said 'I never want to see you again'. Which was probably the biggest lie I've ever said. I wanted to see him and at the same time I didn't want to see him. I wanted to see him because I still loved him. I didn't want to see him because I hated him for saying all the horrible things to me but I want to believe that all the awful things he said were untrue. Every night I would sit on the twin bed in my dorm room with my phone next to me. I wanted to call him. I wanted to text him I just couldn't get up the strength to do so. I decided though that calling and texting is so cowardly, if I talk to him it will be in person face to face. Lord help me.

On the other hand, I talk to Brian almost everyday. We'd text constantly. We'd talk on the phone. He always asked me how I was doing, my answer was always the same; awful. Then we would talk about our days. He would inform me on how Matt was doing, which seemed to always be similar to how I felt. It was never any more than that though. Brian and I became very close over the last month. A part of me was worried that I was falling for him and deep down I loved him madly but I still loved Matt and I wanted to keep loving Matt because in all honesty I wanted to work out what had happened between Matt and I, which I think is pretty generous of me because he's the one at fault for ruining our relationship in the first place.

Today though, was another ordinary friday. I had just come back to my room after a long day of classes. Surprisingly I had nothing to do, no essays to write, nothing to research. What a great way to start the weekend. As I sat in my silence, staring out the window and down the bustling road I heard a faint knock at my door. Of course because my mind likes to play tricks on me the first thing I thought was that It was Matt or Brian. I hopped off my bed and made my way over to the door to see a lanky girl about 5'5 with long brown hair standing there.

"Hi" She waved shyly, she had bags in her hands that contained her belongings I assumed.

"Uhm, hi" I replied quietly, I moved out of the door way and she placed her belongings on the bed that wasn't mine.

"So I guess I'm your new roommate" She smiled.

"I guess so" I said back, trying to sound happy. I liked not having a roommate, having the room to myself for the past month was awesome. I like being alone.

She walked around the bed and started getting her belongings organized.

"Well, I'm Morgan" I introduced myself, "It's nice to meet you"

"It's nice to meet you too" She smiled, "I'm Josephine, most people just call me Jo or Josie"

"Cool" I said, nodding my head. Joe. That was my dad's name, looks like I'll be calling her

Josie. I sat on my bed, scrolling through my twitter occasionally looking at her as she set up her side of the room. I saw her hanging up a small poster next to her bed, I looked closer only to reveal that the picture was of Avenged Sevenfold.