Chapter Thirteen
For my first audition song, I had sang Take That's - Want you back. I was a massive Take That fan when I was younger and I thought if anyone could get me through those auditions, Take That could! I don't know whether it was my singing, or the song that made Cheryl cry when I auditioned, but I knew it provoked a reaction, and it was even fitting for what I wanted and felt. I didn't know if it would be hard to choose my own song, but I was dertermined to do what I wanted, I was getting seriously desperate without Cheryl, It was weird, I had only known her a few weeks, but I don't know how I coped without her before. It was the Monday before the next Live show, and I didn't know whether to ask Cheryl or the vocalist first, I knew Cheryl would be in the studios today, I had over heard one of the other girls bragging about how they were having a meeting today, so I decided to try and catch up with her face to face, then inform the vocalists.
Standing outside her dressing room door, which she went in alot rather then hanging around with the other two girls, I felt a surge or nervousness in the pit of my stomach, I think Cheryl would be ok with me choosing my own song if I really wanted to.
I tapped lightly on the door, " Just a minute," a geordie voice called.
She took a few minutes to answer the door, and when she eventually did, her eyes were puffy and her mascara was slighty blotching, she had been crying.
"Are you okay?" I asked, as she kept me on the doorstep.
"I'm fine," she snapped. " What do you want?"
"Well I wanted to ask you, if it was okay if i choose my own song this week, just I have something speci-"
"Do what you want Kimberley, I think you have made it obvious you don't need me anyway," Her voice breaking at the end and she shut the door in my face.
Ouch. My eyes started welling up, as I was just about to knock again, and beg her to let me in, when she called out from behind the door, "And don't bother staying out there, you won't be coming in Kimberley."
I daren't stay. She sounded angry, well she obviously was angry, I just wondered what she was crying about? My guess was on Ashley, I thought it best to leave her, she said I could change the song, al be it in a cruel way, but she would understand on Saturday night.
The vocal coach wasn't very happy about the change in song, she questioned alot about why Cheryl had allowed me to change the song, which I tried to avoid as best I could, I just kept reassuring her It would pay off, I knew this song would work.
*****
It was early Saturday evening again. I had only seen Cheryl a little this week, but never to speak to, everytime I looked at her she would look away quickly, but I was still confident of my plan. Walking into my dressing room, I spotted my outfit for the night, again it looked like something Cheryl would have picked for me, but it really seemed like she wanted nothing to do with me, so I was doubtful. Again after my routine of hair, make-up, phone call with family, I found myself
alone in my dressing room again, I waited and waited intill the last possible moment, hoping, praying even that she would come in, I just wanted to see her. But Cheryl didn't turn up, and when a member of production crew walked in to tell me to come out, I could of slapped him for how he dashed my hopes! "*Bar Steward*"
I was on last again tonight, apparently someone who was meant to be last kicked up a huge fuss for some reason or another, so they were allowed to change, bit unfair if you ask me, but maybe this would make Cheryl remember my performance even more! Similar to last week, the nerves got gradually bigger and bigger towards my time slot, and again, I didn't know if it was because I had to perform, or because I was trying to make my point to Cheryl again. Things were even worse between us now, this is why this HAD to work.
