Awkward Interview
Liam: ”So” the man started. “Everyone refers to you as ‘Daddy Direction’, right?” Liam nodded not paying attention to the direction in which this was going. Frankly, neither were you. “Does [y/n] call you daddy?” you felt the naughtiness in the question, you placed your hand over your mouth and mumbled “oh my” of course causing the interviewer to assume this was yes. “No, no, no, no, no.” You finally spit out “When we have sex I only say Liam… I mean we don’t.. I mean we.. oh god.” Liam covered his own face and shook his head “She calls me whatever she wants in the moment.” You playfully hit him trying to get him to SHUT UP so this can be over but he likes the fans knowing WAY TOO MUCH for your liking. “She’s actually quite cute when sh-” you cover his mouth “He’s drunk. Don’t listen to him, he’s crazy.” You sit back, face bright red and laughing hoping the torture is over. Just when you think it is the interview says “So, she calls you Daddy?”
Harry: ”Does he pee on you?" the question was left lingering in your mind. Pee on me, like with his penis? This man is crazy. Does he think we’re into that? While Harry sat by laughing waiting for you to clear his "innocent" yeah, right name and reputation. You shook your head and replied “No..he does not pee on me, and if that is your go to question I think you’re in need of a mental evaluation.” The interviewer smirked and read of the piece of paper “One time Harry peed on me in his sleep” Okay, so yes you said that once, in a twitcam with Liam. That is sooooooo not what you meant. You looked at the interviewer dead in the eyes and said “Yes, Harry peed on me while he was sleepy. He wouldn’t do it when he’s awake.” Before he could ask why you were continuing “Me and him don’t like wasting our together time. We’d rather have sex than urinate on each other. So if we’re done here, I’m horny.” You turned to your boyfriend, trying hard not to blush because you were victorious in trying to shock the annoying interviewer.
Niall: ”Food is for eating, not sex.” Niall replied, almost appalled at the idea of using it for anything else. “Well…” you started and he shot you a glare daring you to continue. You dared. “Whipped cream, babe. Chocolate syrup, Ice cream, cookie dough..remember that one night when we-” and his hand covered your mouth before you could continue. “No [y/n] food is for eating.” “But… You like me being the plate.” Niall shook his head poking your face looking for the “off” button so you’ll shut up. He’s not the biggest fan of the world knowing about his sexual acts and if they include food or not. “So, food is involved?” the interviewer asked once more while Niall was explaining it again that no, food is for eating you were nodding your head yes and calling him crazy and prudish and too up tight and any other thing you could think of before he turned to you. “Fine” Niall gave in “tonight I’m eating hot ass steak off your naked boobs.”
Zayn: "Any hair action?" "NO" Zayn said almost too quickly "The hair doesn’t get touched." He and the interviewer were laughing it off, you didn’t like that. You had been refusing him sex because of the "no hair touchy" rule. Eff him bro, it’s your sex too. You should be able to run your flippin’ hands through his stupid hair. The look on your face must of read "frustration" because they stopped and stared at you with questioning looks. "What?" you asked snapping out of your own mind, well you know what I mean. "You okay?" the man opposite you and stupid Zayn asked "No" you replied sitting up almost furious "I haven’t had sex in soooooo long and this douchedick doesn’t frickin care. Is it too much to ask to get a little action, I mean come on." Zayn laughed at your words. Asshat. "I just wanna" you stood up walking to the interviewer and ran your hands through his hair while finishing your rant "do this to his hair, but NOOOOOO I can’t touch the precious Zayn Malik effin gelled up hair." You stormed out and before they could question it you came back with a glass of water dumping it on Zayn’s head and running your hands through his hair "Take that, biatch."
Louis: You sat next to your blue eyed boyfriend with his arm around you, you were trying to get as comfortable as possible. “So, [y/n]. I hear you and Louis like getting freaky.” Yes, that was the first question the man insisted on asking you. “Uh… uh..” you sat up straight, blushing slightly trying to shy away from the question, hoping he’d let it go. Of course, he wasn’t going to. This is juicy stuff, the world wants to know. “Do you and him use.. toys, whips, chains.. do they excite you?” He winked, oh gosh he freaking winked and what does Louis do in your time of need? Laugh and act like he has no idea what the hell is going on. You know him, you’ve seen him naked. This boy is NOT naive. They both looked at you waiting for your answer, you took a deep breath and said “I don’t know ask Harry about the sex life of Louis Tomlinson.” You smirked while the interviewer went on to question Louis about his close relationship with his curly haired counterpart.
