Supernatural Imagines

if you leave / tfw

I DID NOT WRITE THIS. but this is very important I feel that anyone with self harm problems and suicidal thoughts should read this. All credits go to kaz2y5-imagines on tumblr!!

I also recommend listening to 'please don't go' by Barcelona for the ultimate sadness bye

TRIGGER WARNING:
-suicide attempt
-self harm

-

You watched distantly as the blade you'd been holding fell onto the carpet from your pale hand, unable to keep your grasp on it any longer. Such a small thing, hardly any weight to it, but the damage it had done was immense, irreversible.

The carpet around you where you sat against your bed was red, your clothes were red, your skin, everything. Red. Everywhere. Sam and Dean were pounding at your door furiously, had been for about a minute now, and you felt a tear slide down your face. Their voices would be the last thing you would hear; that was actually kind of nice, you thought.

The door busted open, wood splintering as it did, and Sam and Dean were by your side in an instant, kneeling beside you. You winced as Sam wrapped his hands around your wrists tightly, trying to stem the flow of blood. Dean had his phone to his ear but you couldn't hear his words. Everything was fading away, everything but the cuts. The pain still sliced sharply through everything else, all your other senses. The cuts on your skin were criss-crossed over old scars; the difference was these were more, these were deeper. You'd gone farther this time, you'd crossed a line. Maybe you'd done it on purpose, maybe you were bleeding out on accident. It didn't really matter now. What was done was done, and you closed your eyes.

Sam and Dean's faces were both contorted with panic, with grief, and you didn't want to remember them like that. They would be better off without you now. They would see that in time.

The darkness behind your eyes seemed to reach out and take the rest of you with it, encircling you, cradling you downwards until you felt and heard Sam and Dean no more.
——————–

"Y/N?" You spun towards the unfamiliar voice, surprised in a detached kind of way to find yourself surrounded by white. It was a sharp contrast to the darkness and red that you'd just left. There was a woman with shoulder length, dark hair, standing before you. She looked calm, as if she'd been there a million times. Wherever there was.

"What is this?" you asked, turning in a quick circle. Nothing but white as far as you could see; no landmarks of any kind to help you discern distance or space. "Who are you?"

"My name is Tessa, and I'm a reaper." You felt a flood of relief at her words. A reaper, that meant death. That meant you'd succeeded.

"You're pleased," she said, taking in your expression.

"Look, I'm not sure if you saw how I got here or not, but I kind of took the early train out. The do-it-yourself kind," you told her.
She nodded slowly, bringing her hands behind her back.

"I know. But you're not quite out. Not yet."

"You're a reaper, so you're here to reap me, that's the way it works," you said.

"You haven't been with the Winchesters long enough if you really believe that," she said with a slight smile. "You'll have a choice...when I'm through with you, to come with me or not."

"I'm coming with you," you said firmly.

"Maybe," she replied, still so calm. "We just have a few quick stops to make first."

She walked to you and took your hand in her own and you watched, fascinated as the bright white around you melted away so that you were standing in the middle of what was clearly a hallway of a hospital.