Supernatural Imagines

every night / castiel

Imagine: You're so frustrated with your life that you wanna quit, when you nearly off yourself, Castiel saves you. But you're angry.

*TRIGGER WARNING*
-self harm references
-suicidal thoughts
-suicidal actions

listen to song for full sadness effect!

-

I can't. I can't do this anymore.

Looking at yourself in the mirror, you disgusted yourself.

This life was too hard. Yes, you were a hunter, but you weren't strong. You can't deal with everyone screaming at you.

You had officially given up on yourself. You cried for help every night. Your brothers, Sam and Dean, were always busy. You never bothered them. But you called out to Cas every night. Begging, pleading, he would do something.

After months of trying, you had given up. He obviously didn't care about you.

You needed someone. You had no one.

You thought about your trusty blades. They always seemed to whisper your name into the air. Today, they screamed and shouted. Calling you. Urging you. You shook your head. You wanted a more effective way to off yourself.

You promised yourself you'd do it tonight. The boys are on a hunt so you'd have plenty of times.

You didn't see the purpose for living anymore. Everything was too hard. You couldn't do anything without struggling. Getting through the day was rough itself.

You let a sob escape your lips as you opened the door into the room.

You slowly stalked to the nightstand next to the bed.

I don't want to die. But I can't stop this pain. I can't kill my demons without killing myself.

You reached into the drawer and pulled out a gun. You checked to see 3 billeted left.

On the notepad next to the lamp, you wrote with shaky penmanship.

I'm sorry. I didn't want it to end like this. But I can't do this anymore. I tried. I really did. I love you all.
Goodbye.
-Y/N

Tear drops dampened the paper a bit. You sniffled as you grabbed the gun. Slowly rising it to your temple, you whispered, "goodbye Castiel. I will always love you."

Tears rained down your cheeks as you turned the safety off. You closed your eyes. About to pull the trigger, you heard the familiar flap of wings.

"Y/N!" Your eyes shot open. Castiel stood there.

"Get away from me." You said, unwavering.

"Don't Do this!" He yelled.

"Why not? You never helped me. You left me, when I needed you most. How could you!?" You screamed, but held the gun to your head.

"Y/N, I'm sorry. I didn't know-" Cas started.

"I prayed to you, every night! How could you?!" You couldn't stop crying.

"I know. I'm so sorry." Cas sobbed. He had never felt emotion before. You've never seen him cry. You stared at him. Unmoving. Something clicked inside you.

"Why are you crying!?" You screamed.

"Because I don't want to let you go. You can't. This thing I feel when I'm around you...it does not make sense. I get all happy and giddy with you. You make me smile. I cannot let that go. I cannot let you go. Please. Y/N, put the gun down." Cas pleaded.

You slowly put the gun down. And set it on the table. Cas started towards you but you put up a hand.

"If you didn't want to lose me, why did you watch me suffer like that? I needed you Cas. I had nobody." You sobbed.

"Heaven made me stay away from you. They saw me, as they said, falling in love. I listened. I should not have. But when I saw you were going to do it...I-I couldn't watch that happen." He looked at you with glossy eyes and a sad expression. "Please forgive me."

You let out a loud sob and ran into his arms. He held you tight his strong arms. Oh how you missed him.

"It's okay. I-I didnt know. I was selfish and-"

"No..I was selfish. None of this is your fault. I'm here now. And I'm not leaving."

You had your guardian angel back. And you weren't going to let him go.

-

ouchouchouchouchouch

anyway sorry for all the sad imagines idk i channel my thoughts into my writing sooo

if you EVER need someone to talk to, I will listen i promise. i love you guys soossososososososso much. words can't express.

anyway byeee
love yous