Sex, Drugs, and Rock n' Roll

Part 10: Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'n Roll

'Yippy Ki Yay motha fucka.' -John Mclain, Die Hard. That is one of my favorite quotes. It incapsolates the coolness of Roy Rogers and the Badassery of John Mclain. I don't know why I thought of it but it must have had something to do with seeing a Die Hard poster on the wall of the actual Pawn stars pawn shop from the TV show. It was closed of course at the hour of 9 but as Tom, Mark, and I peered in through the window we knew there was nothing much more to see inside that you couldn't see from the outside. We got back into the van and drove deeper into Vegas the city was beautiful at night. Palm trees, the flashing lights on the markee's of the casinos. We pulled up to the Wynn Las Vegas hotel. A large building which to be honest I don't remember much of. We went in and Tom handed Mark and I fake IDs,

"Now listen up guys," he said, "I don't want either of you gambling, drinking, or having sex tonight, these are strictly for stripers and you can use the slot machines if you want but no gambling more than 30 dollars total. Okay?"

"Yes." We both said.

"Great, now stay together, we're in room 1134, knock before you enter." He said and turned to went off, disappearing into the crowd.

Mark and I went through the casino having to show our 'IDs' a couple times and played slots we won 20 bucks at first, then lost it all and since we had no more money we left. We went to the bar and got cokes and watched a basketball game.

"Hey dude," said Mark, "I got something to ask you," he said.

"Yeah," I said.

"Well the thing is, I don't know if it'll hurt your feelings but I feel I should ask." He said.

"Well spill dude." I said after a minute.

"Would you be okay, if I asked out Tracy?" He asked.

At that moment I felt like punching him. Like saying she was mine and telling someone about kissing her by the fireworks on the golf course but I didn't. Maybe if I had things would be different. Instead I just said, "Mark what about Lena? You have a girlfriend."

"Lena and I broke up I last night. She broke up with me over the phone."

"Wow man, I'm sorry."

"Dude, it's fine, I was gonna end it when we got back anyway she just saved me some time. So anyway, about Tracy?" He trailed off.

"Yeah I uh I guess so."

"Cool, I mean I just thought since it seemed like you liked her..."

"Yeah." I said and we kept watching the game. The tension in me rose and rose until I had to say something. "Wanna go up stairs and get a stripper?" I asked.

"Hell yeah baby!" He said.  We went around the bar and back to the elevators and waited. The elevator came and we entered still no words. Mark seemed not to feel the tension at all.
We went up to our floor and walked to the room, still there were no words just mark humming. We reached the room and knocked
"Hold on!" Came the muffled shout and after some loud banging, pun intended, Tom emerged and let a super hot girl, exactly his type out of the room, "thanks baby!" He shouted after her. Then to us, "come on it guys," he said opening the door. We entered. The room was huge! In the words of Donald Trump at least. It was pearl white all around and the circular bed was silk. The couch was leather. The TV was ultra flat screen. And there was a stripper pole by the bed. Tom went over and pushed the couch turning it around to face to stripper pole and pushed it close, he brought three towels form the restroom and told us to sit. We sat, mark on the left and me in the middle with Tom on the right and starred at the stripper pole for a second or so. Then the lights died. Suddenly a number of blue and green lights began to light the pole and the area around it. The room door opened and a woman walked in. She was tall and white with long blonde hair. She was wrapped in a black silk cloak like robe. She walked to the pole and dropped the cloak. If you are a female and reading this, you know I've already been crass but I strongly urge you to skip the next few lines for your own health. This woman's body was perfectly rounded and curved in such a way that it is almost indescribable. She wore a black or black as far as we could tell, G-string. My jaw dropped. Since I had seen Tom I had chosen to ignore the conversation I'd had with Mark but I forgot how to spell my name when I saw this girl. Perfect everything. We watched with severe intent as she preformed her routine. Swinging, dipping, dropping, I nearly died. She continued for a few minutes then left and the lights cut. We all sat.

"Your welcome."

"Tom, I never thought I would say this, but you are without a doubt, the awesomest friend ever!" I shouted.

"YEAH!!!!!" We screamed.

"Mark are you okay?" We asked as we looked at him. Tom and I were jumping and shouting and loving how erect our junk was after that but Mark just sat there with a worried shocked look on his face. "Mark?"

"I may or may not have done something I my pants." He said

"You piss your pants?" Tom asked.

"What no! I, came." He said

"Aw yuck!" I said and turned away.

"Ahh your fine man, that's the point of this whole thing. Go clean up and we'll watch inglorious BASTEREDs to cap off the night. Well you can cap it off at least, Tommy still gotta a lotta dough he needs to gamble." Tom said.

Mark left to the bathroom and Tom and I pushed the couch back. Then we put the TV on and started  INGLORIOUS BASTEREDs.

"Hey tom," I said, "can I ask you something?"

"Sure." He said not really caring with his eyes fixed on the screen.

"Well-"

"Is it how much porno is too
Much porno?"

"What no I don't watch that."

"What lotion is safe to use as lube?"

"No! Tom this is serious!"

"Okay what is it?"

"If Tracy told me she only wanted us to be platonic but I love her, should I ask her out?"

Tom considered, "have you read paper towns?"he asked me.

"What?" I exclaimed.

"Have you read paper towns?"

"No." I said.

" Well paper towns talks about how, paper towns are what map makers put on their maps because they aren't real towns and any real map maker would know that so if someone tried to copy their maps they would know. Well in the book they also talk about how paper things are just your perception of them, they may look perfect or pretty or even bad, but that is you perception, you won't know until you see for yourself. So just make sure, you're not in love with what you've built her up to be." he said.

That was the most sensible and real thing that has ever come out of Tom Barrot's mouth, I though.

"So it does bother you?" asked a voice from behind, I wheeled around to see Mark there.

"No Mark,"

"No, Man. If you don't want me to ask her out don't lie just say so!" he shouted.

Tom sat dumbfounded not understanding what was happening. I stood and faced him.

"Okay, I do like her. The night we met we kissed and she told me she wanted us to be platonic only. So that's why I said I was okay with it Okay!" I said loudly.

"Okay!" he shouted back.

"Wait, did Mark ask you if he could ask out Tracy?" Tom asked.

"Yes." I said.

"OMG Mark. That is the stupidest thing you could possibly have done. You know he likes her were you just trying to get a confession out of him?"

"No! I like her too!"

"You just wanna fuck her!" I shouted.

"Shut up!"

Soon after, the shouting became to loud and complicated to dicifer. I know I shouted or meant to shout, that Mark was an asshole who would only pretend to love her and couldn't ever get to see the real Tracy underneath like I had that night on the roof of the country club. I told him after I heard something about killing himself that she had probably tried to but would do it again if he dated her. I know I shouldn't have said those things, I know. Tom eventually broke up our fight before it got physical and made me sleep in the room and Mark with him in the living room. The next day Tom was the only one who spoke. Mark and I never looked at each other, never said a word unless mandatory. We rode home in scilence, No AC/DC, no sound, Just the van motor, and the tires on the road. After Tom dropped off Mark and he refused to help us with my dad's car, Tom and I opened the garage our selves, then I drove home and met my parents. It wasn't to hard to pretend to be sad. It was hard to pretend to be sad for Mark. If only I had just gone back inside at the country club, Maybe things would be different.