Definitely Maybe (Beatles/Oasis Crossover Fan Fiction)

14

“Try it now,” Noel shouted from behind the propped bonnet. John turned the key. The engine rattled and groaned and puttered out. “Hmm,” Noel leaned over it, resting on both his hands. “It’s no good, we’ll have to push it,” he said, lowering the top and letting it drop at the last couple of inches.  

“Push?” Liam said. “I’m not fuckin’ pushing no fuckin’ car,”  

“Get behind, it’ll warm you up,” Noel said, shoving Liam towards the rear of the car. John stood, holding the driver’s door. “When I say,” Noel said, putting his hands on the edge of the boot, “jump in and start it.”  

John nodded and the three of them started to push, Noel and Liam from behind and John from the side. The car stuck, then slowly rolled down from the grass verge and picked up momentum. John steered the car to the centre of the road with one hand, holding the door with the other. They began to run. “Now!” Noel shouted as they gained speed. John jumped in the drivers seat and turned the key. The engine clunked and thunked and sparked and refused to start. The car rolled to a stop. Noel and Liam leaned on the boot to catch their breath. John got out and came around to the back.  

“It’s no good, its dead,” he said morosely.  

“Perhaps we need a bit more speed?” Noel suggested. “Shame this roads so flat, we could do with a hill.”  

“More speed?” Liam said, still gasping for breath, shaking his head.  

“Few more trips to the gym, and less to the pub, eh, our kid?”  

“You steer,” John said to him, “I’ll push back here.”  

Liam didn’t need telling twice. He nodded and skipped round to the drivers seat, having suddenly and miraculously recovered. Noel pursed his lips and turned around to start pushing the car again. John joined him and they began to roll the car forward, pushing against the ground with their feet as hard as they could. Again the car picked up speed, again Noel shouted, “Now!” and again the engine failed. “Keep going!” Noel said to John, and “Keep trying,” he shouted to his brother.  

John and Noel ran side by side, leaning all their weight into the car, and looking down at their feet as they went, which was why the pair of them nearly fell over themselves when Liam suddenly stamped on the breaks.  

Noel snatched his head up ready to yell a string of expletives at Liam when he saw the reason Liam had stamped on the breaks. The van, heading straight for them, swerved and squealed to a stop a few inches in front of the nose of the car.  

“Fuck,” John said.  

The driver of the van wound down his window and leaned out, “Alright mate?” he shouted in a thick Mancunian accent. “Where d’yer nick the car from, Liam? I’d take it back if I were you!”  

Liam got out of the car with a lopsided grin on his face. “Digsy, yer tosser! You tryin’ to kill us?”  

“Aren’t you meant to be playin’ somewhere tonight?” Digsy yelled back.  

“Yeah, about two hours ago.”  

“Oh well, I’ll catch yer at Knebworth or somat then,” he replied, jumping down from the cab of the van. “Alright, Noel? D’yer want a jump?”