He's That Summer Breeze

Swaying and Staying

"I love you."

My heart stopped.

I didn't cry.

I just stared back up at him not sure what to say. Not sure what to do.

"I don't expect you to say it back, or feel the same way. I just need you to know how I feel..." Zach said when he noticed that I just stared up at him blankly.

"Zach I..." I what? I didn't even know how to finish that sentence.

He looked at me with hopeful eyes that made my heart hurt,"I want to feel like you do. I want to..." He brushed a strand of my hair back,"I really want to." I whispered. His jaw tensed a bit. I could tell that he was frustrated, I mean I would be too, but he continued to be the kindhearted boy he was and put my feelings ahead of his.

"I understand." He didn't look me in the eyes. He just leaned back against the truck and stared out around him.

"I'm so sorry." I said quietly, as I sat on the other side of the bed of the truck.

"No. Don't be." He had his knees bent with his arms resting on top with an expression of disappointment. I stretched my legs out in front of me.

I hated seeing him like that. I hated seeing him all reserved and quiet. He only acted this way when he was upset. Really upset. I knew why though,"I know you miss the old me." I looked over at him as he turned his attention over to what I had said.

"Old you?" He asked.

"Yeah that me." I replied.

"I don't know what you mean." His eyebrows were knitted together with a puzzled expression.

"The happier, carefree me. The me that can go a day without crying. The me that doesn't wake up with a load of guilt each morning. The me that could love so easily." My voice was angry, but only towards myself.

"I just hate seeing you hurt so much. I hate it." He said while he ran a hand through his thick hair.

"I hate it too." He looked back at me and just stared at me.

"I didn't know you cried everyday..." He continued to look at me.

"Well I've cried the most in front of you here this summer, but that was for other reasons mostly."

"Callia..." His hand reached for mine, but I pulled back.

"I don't want pity Zach." I said sternly.

"I'm not going to pity you, I want to be here for you." His hand reached for mine again, but I didn't pull back. His big hand engulfed mine and he pulled me over towards him. I sat beside him as we continued to hold hands.

"I wish I could help." He looked down at our intertwined fingers and began tracing shapes on the back of my hand.

I didn't say anything, I just leaned my head against his shoulder as he then leaned his head on top of mine. His breath tickled me through my hair,"Your hair smells good." He said as he pressed a kiss to the top of my head.

I began laughing,"Haha thank you my dear."

"My dear?" He looked down at me and began laughing a little.

"I don't know it just came to mind." I said to him.

"Then my love, have I told you how beautiful you look this evening?" He made me blush for like the fiftieth time today again.

"Because smudged make up is so attractive." I laughed.

He put his mouth up to my ear,"I still find you very attractive whether you're make up is smudged or not."