Diary (Camren)

Chapter 29

April 19 2016

Wow. It has been a long time. I had really rough recovering from this. I was in coma for a long time and it made some damage on my brain. Not something big, I'm just having a hard time remembering things. Like old faces and stuff. But once they tell who they are I'm like remembering them again. It feels really strange to be honest. But luckily, the doctors said it will go away soon. I have also been very very weak so I haven't been able to be outside until today and oh god what an amazing feeling to be outside in the sun for the first time since Januray. Lauren, Mom and Dinah has been here a lot. Ally is on vacation in some strange country I don't know the name. She has been sure to call a lot though. I love my friends, family & girlfriend so much. They have all been so supportive towards me. Lauren's mom has been here a couple of times too. I love them so much. I also turned 16. Sweet, sweet 16. It would have been nice to be 16, if I hadn't been in this stupid hospital. I am so sick of this. So tired of this. Some days I wish I would just die already. But I can't leave mom and Lauren like that. It wouldn't be fair. I'm so tired all the time and it taeks so much effort just to go to the bathroom. It is so unfair. I've never done anything so bad in life that I think I deserve this. I really don't. What have I done to deserve this? I forgot to tell you. The cancer isn't getting any better. But it's not getting any worse at the moment either. They will wait until I am a little stronger until they're gonna put me on chemo again. This time some different, stronger dose. Ugh. Lauren and I have been together for over a year by the way. I think this will last forever. I really do. At least I hope it does. And right, at my 16th birthday some fond gave me a free wish. I can wish whatever I want to. How sick!? I think about an trip to either Paris or Disneyland with Lauren, mom and Sofi.

x Camila

Sorry because mistakes! 😊

-Michaela