Alone on Cloud 9

Alone on Cloud 9 (20)

“Arya, wait.” He called out just as I turned to leave, and against my better judgment, I turned around, figuring it was best to just get this over with, finish the story for good, and if this was the last chapter, I was more than ready for it to end.

He expression, for once, looked sincere, no ulterior motive, no smugness, just a simple embarrassed expression that I never would have believed was possible if I wasn’t seeing it with my own two eyes.

“Don’t you think it’s time we stopped messing around?”

“I already have Michael.” I said cautiously.

“Then let me apologize for real.”

The words set me back, even more than the expression had. If I was confused before, I was baffled now, and though I’d always been a bad judge of this, for once I didn’t feel like part of a game, like the audience to his one-man act, and I had no idea where this could be coming from.

“I’m sorry for everything that happened two years ago, I got carried away in a petty grudge, but it went way to far.”

“Well.” I said unsure how to respond. “Um… I’m sorry for what happened two years ago too, but I had nothing to do with it.” I added, not wanting him to think I was taking the blame for the food fight.

“I know.” He said with a wry smile. “That was all Mandy. You know, if I’d actually gotten to know you under different circumstances, I mean, you’re not that bad you know?”

“What are you trying to say?” I asked carefully, unsure why he insisted on bringing up the past.

He let out a deep breath, running his hand through his hair in a quick jerk.

“What I’m saying is… I think… I like you.”

And there it was, the three words I'd waited so long to hear, and they didn't mean a thing. I should have been happy to hear it, if for no other reason than to rub it in his face, but for once, I didn’t see him as Michael Conner, the complete jerk who broke my heart, I just saw him as another guy putting himself out there for a girl, and I didn’t have it in me to be mean about it.

"Maybe you do Michael, but I don't. I whispered back gently.

"That's not true, you love me,” He stated, suddenly so self assured, so completely confident in his words he didn't doubt them for a second. If I'd admired it once I couldn't see why. It had been the problem all along. I'd liked him too much and he'd known it, never doubted for a second, and now acted like nothing had changed.

"You're wrong,” I said simply.

"Say it then, say you don't love me. You can't can you?"

If I'd cared at all I might have been angry, annoyed at least by the slight upturn of his lips, barely suppressing a smile, as if the idea of my being over him were absolutely ridiculous.

"I don't love you Michael." I said quietly.

His face crinkled slightly with confusion, as if he'd lost the script.

"But… no… you don't mean that… it's me"

"That's just it Michael, I was never in love with you, just this idea I had of you… but you're not that guy, not the guy I thought you were, or wanted so badly for you to be, and I've finally figured that out."

Even though I lost everything along the way to figure it out.

"I am that guy.” He insisted.

I heard it again, just the slightest hint of genuine emotion, and I couldn’t believe this was actually happening, that Michael Conner liked me.

It would be so easy to give in. To forget everything that had happened, to finally get the guy I always thought I wanted. Except that guy was Wes, and he was inside, so I had to wonder what the hell I was still doing out here.