From the producers who saw Shakespeare, comes the adaptation lifted right out of the Elizabethan period and onto the big screen to become the next big Summer block buster of the decade, McDunkin' Dough-Nuts: Macbeth Reloaded!
Enter the world of Macb...
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(Scene 1)
Enter Doctor and a lady, walking towards the private chambers of Lady Macbeth.
Doctor: And you say that Lady Macbeth has been acting very strangely. How so?
Lady: She's been doing this for a week now, sleep walking and talking to herself. Look!
Enter Lady Macbeth rubbing her hands as if they had blood.
Lady Macbeth: Wash away the horror, wash away the horror.
Doctor: Interesting.
Lady Macbeth: I am the vice president, I'm the one who must wash this blood from my own cursed hands!
Lady: Well?
Doctor: Look, I'm a doctor not a psychiatrist. I'm not cut out for this. Walks off stage
Lady: You're leaving?! But what of her illness?
Doctor: If you're so concerned about her so much, just send her over to a psychiatric ward. Oh wait, her husband blew it up in yesterday's air strike.
Exit lady and Doctor
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(Scene 2)
Enter Macbeth at the executive desk
Macbeth: I don't think I want to be president anymore. Or senator, or a lawyer, or a conspirer. I'm surprised congress hasn't impeached me yet. Maybe it's time to resign?
Enter commander Freeman
Commander: Sir, it is I Morgan Freeman. The enemy is approaching the White House sir!
Macbeth: Lead by who commander Freeman?
Commander: Macduff and Malcolm!
Macbeth: Oh no, the conspiracy theorists were right! But at least everyone is born of woman right?
Commander: Ever heard of a C-section sir?
Macbeth: Oh dear god, help me.
Then comes the sound of a woman screaming
Macbeth: What was that?
Commander: I think that's your wife sir.
Macbeth: Lady M! Well, it's true what they say. You Only Live Once. I'm gonna fight for my country and my wife just like I did on the war on terror.
Exit Macbeth and Commander
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(Scene 3)
Enter Macduff, Malcolm, and a bunch of rebels dressed exactly like the Cleveland Browns football team in an ally way just a mile away from the White House
Malcom: This is it men, our final battle against the foul Macbeth's forces!
Rebels:Hoo Rah!
Macduff: He shall pay for what he has done to our country, he slaughtered my wife and child at the hands of a terrible actor! And once more caused civil war to Lady Liberty.
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(Scene 4)
Enter Macduff crashing through through the window with Macbeth at his desk
Macduff: End of the line Macbeth! It's time for you to die!
Macbeth: Oh please, I don't want to fight you Macduff I'm sorry. I've done too much to your family, and Duncan, and Donalbain. Please don't hurt me. This is all my wife's fault!
Macduff: Tough rocks, maybe I'll consider your petty plea, in the mid term.
Macbeth: If that's the way you want it. Unlike you I Macbeth, have the element of surprise. Pulls out a surprise gun and pulls the trigger, nothing happens. Aw, shucks.
Macduff shoots Macbeth in the face, enter Malcom and a rebel sergeant.
Malcom: You did it, you killed the tyrant! Macbeth is dead! The war is won!
Macduff: So what happens now?
Malcom: You get to be president now. Since this is the dawn of a new nation, and you gave the kill to Macbeth, it would only make sense to give you the title. I mean, it was practically a freebie for GW. How about it?
Macduff: All right then, I, Macduff, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God.
