Innocence

Chapter Nineteen - Family.

Emma’s P.O.V –

I knew I was asleep. It was peaceful, really. The infinite black nothingness engulfed my entire being into a state of serenity – blocking out the physical pain I was receiving from my  father; as well as the emotional pain I felt from being away from my family, friends, and Tyler. I welcomed the peaceful slumber with open arms – my mind and body hoping it lasted forever, where I could not feel, hear, see, smell or touch anything that would harm me in any shape or form.

I wasn’t dead. My mind knew this. I was simply in a state that was in between life and death – a thin line separating my being from the two options that were laid out for me. My mind and body weren’t the only things that enjoyed this state of being – my conscience was at peace as well. I couldn’t recall the last time I heard my father’s voice ever since this black vortex sucked me in – and I wasn’t complaining either.

Although my father’s voice had completely disappeared out of my mind, the comforting sound of my mother’s voice was heard in my mind. It sounded far away – like she was in a room down the hall from where I was – and the walls in between us muffled her voice. But it was still there. I also thought I heard Courtney’s voice at one point – just barely – she had said a particular word that sounded loud and clear, which was Katrina,  before her voice too, like my mother’s, became muffled and distant.

It had my mind reeling within the constant blackness of my vision.  Had my father found them? The question whirled around my mind for a few moments, almost making my eyelids unseal themselves to reveal the outside world – to see their faces; if they were safe or not. The peaceful sleep stopped me though – and I didn’t protest as everything in my mind became silent again; only a frequent yet serene ringing filled my being.

~

There was another time my conscience began to have the urge to join the real word again. It wasn’t my family this time – it was Tyler. His deep voice sounded just like my mothers’ and Courtney’s’ did – muffled and far away from me – but I recognised it instantly. It was the first time, really, that his voice popped into my mind. I couldn’t make out what he was saying; it sounded fuzzy to my brain, and I almost slipped back into the soundless black sleep – until the fuzzy voice became clear with one sentence.

“Because I wanted too.”

It was silly; but my black dream suddenly whirred into a colourful swirl – forming a perplexed picture for my mind. It somewhat resembled the field we did PE in – which freshly trimmed grass and white track lines that were blurry in the image in my mind. But Tyler was there, crouching down on the field so that his height matched mine as he whispered those exact same words to me on my first day at the school.

I remembered that day clearly – I was absolutely certain that I hated Tyler then, because he was nothing but a cold jerk to me. I found it funny how much things  have changed between him and me.

~

I kept hearing their voices. They weren’t as fuzzy as they were when I first heard them – Tyler’s in particular was almost as clear as a waterfall’s stream. It was almost as if they were beside me in real life, and I so desperately wanted to open my eyes to see if the voices I was hearing were real – but the fear of waking up to the face of my father kept me under – I didn’t want to face the pain again.

Yet, somehow, there was a small part at the back of my mind telling me to end this blank dream – and the urge to open my eyes grew stronger as my peaceful slumber went by.

So when I felt my eyelids slowly crack open, fear and disappointment flooded through my body as my vision met more darkness. I was still in the room, and my father wasn’t far behind. I had to be.