The Window Boy

Chapter 8 : Routines

Jett :

The words flowed out of her mouth slowly. I watched her lips move. I couldn't hear anything after she said she liked him. It was all muffled. Marcy liked Logan. She didn't like me. Not the way I liked her at least. I felt my heart pound against my chest as I lay down on my bed. My head was spinning so quickly I couldn't tell what was going on around me. I closed my eyes and blinked a couple times. 12:59 AM. Fuck. I've been laying here for 3 hours. I only had 6 more hours until school started.

Hours passed quickly and I still haven't had a minute of sleep. I got out of bed and got ready for a dreadful day of school. I had class with Marcy today. All of my classes actually. I sighed and finished dressing myself before heading out to my car. Once I stepped outside, I saw her and she saw me. Marcy started to walk over to me, smiling. Did she know that I was hurting?

"Hey, Jett." Marcy smiled.
"Um, hey." I mumbled as I fumbled out my keys.
"Could I have a ride?" She asked shyly.
"Oh, I'm not going to school yet. I have to do something." I threw my backpack in the back.
"It doesn't matter. Please?" She tried to get me to look at her.
"I think you should ask someone else. I'm sorry. Ask Logan to come by. He wouldn't mind." I got in my car.
"Jett, if what I said last night-"
"It's nothing. I gotta go. You might want to stand back a bit." I looked her in the eyes.

She stepped back looking down at her feet. She shouldn't be the one who's hurting. I'm not mad at Logan or anything. I'm frustrated knowing that she doesn't know me. I feel emptiness all inside me. I feel nothing. The ride to school was all a blank to me. I don't remember any of those three minutes. School was the same. I didn't see Marcy or Logan. At least I don't think so.

My life was flashing by quickly day by day. This has been happening for a month now. The same routine done everyday, but there was no passion or feeling put into anything that I did. No one has asked if anything was wrong. No one. They seem to be living their own lives like they expected. But I know they're just making the best of it. In the end we all end up the same. Dead.

~

"Jettson, darling. You've been playing with your food for a while. Are you not hungry?" My mom asked.
"Um, no I'm not. I haven't been hungry lately." I mumbled off.
"Are you okay?"

Those three words just made everything stop. No one had asked me that until now. And now I don't know how to answer. Not because it was my mom, but I didn't know if I was or not. I just haven't been feeling...anything for quite some time.

"I'm fine. Just tired. Can I be excused?"
"Sure, honey. Just clean up your plate."

And I did so. As I got to my room, I looked out my window. I looked over to Marcy's room. I noticed that her lamp was lit but no one was there. I didn't know what was going on until my foot hit her side of the roof. My mind was wrapped around how much I was in love with this girl. How much she meant to me and now I was so close to being--

"Jett?"
I looked to my side and saw that Marcy was staring right at me.
"Uh hey."
"What are you doing?"
Right when she said that Logan walked out of his car. I heard him ask what was going on until he saw me.