Savage Wings: Book Three of The Whitechapel Chronicles

Chapter 35

Author's Note: Greetings, dear Chapelites, just a quick note to say that I haven't edited this one and the ending needs a shizz load of work, but it's 1.30am and I have to get up for work in five hours and I promised my FB group a chapter and so this will have to do! Forgive me if any of it sounds like I've been possessed by the Devil himself, or possibly just insane, I'll re-read it again tomorrow and no doubt cringe at every damn word. If by chance, it turns out okay, please do hit the star button and leave a comment, this very exhausted writer would be most grateful xxxx

If someone had once told me that fear was alive; a living, breathing creature that had the power to consume you, I would have told them that they were insane.

But I've seen fear. I've seen how wide its mouth is. Seen its needle sharp teeth that tear and bite. Seen its claws that rip and gouge. It's real and alive and it will devour you. The only question will be whether it will take years to chew on the gristle, taking its time to pick your bones clean, savouring each tasty morsel as it swallows you piece by piece, or whether it will digest you in seconds, destroying you whole in one soul-crushing crunch.

Whichever way it chooses to annihilate you, there's no point in trying to run from it. And I was running. Running so hard that my chest felt like it was going to burst open. Running so hard that my shins felt like they might splinter into shards. And all the while, fear clung to me like the parasitic beast it was, burying its talons into the pit of my belly, entombing my heart within its deadly jaws. I'd felt fear before – God, how I'd felt it – but this, this was like nothing I'd ever experienced. Even seeing Lucius swept up in Caelan's arms was nothing compared to this. At least he was there and she was there and I could deal with it, I could do something. But now, here, too far away from the base, too far away to do anything, all I had was fear. Fear and guilt.

I'd done this. Me. Because I'd wanted to help no matter what the consequences. I'd wanted to save Amy and I'd gone against everyone's wishes to do so and all because I'd been so sure that I was right. Hardly more than a fledgling myself when compared to the others in the group and yet I'd decided that I knew better. They'd warned me and I hadn't listened, too caught up in my need to do the right thing. Too caught up in my desire to be compassionate.

I think you'll find your compassion very unforgiving as it chokes you.

Lucifer had been right. It was choking me now. Running back in the direction of the base, fear coiled around my throat and with each and every laboured step, it squeezed tighter and tighter, making each breath feel like a fire was burning in my windpipe. Tears stung my eyes. Pain stabbed into the soles of my feet.

By my side, matching my pace with their own, Harper and Josiah pounded the pathway through the park with me, Harper with his mobile to his ear as we ran.

"Fuck," he snarled, as we reached the gates at the Cambridge Road entrance. "Fenton isn't picking up."

Images flashed mercilessly into my head. Images of Sergio, entrails spilling out onto the snow. Images of Paige, his lifeless body slumped against the wall. Bloodstains on a child's bed. 

No, no, no. I couldn't bear the thought that the base might have been discovered, that Amy might have betrayed us and led the Varúlfur there. I didn't want to see their broken bodies.

I didn't want to see what I had done to them all. 

"Quick, cab," Josiah urged, raising an arm as a black cab came hurtling towards us down Albert Bridge Road, the light on its roof bidding us welcome. It pulled up alongside and Josiah wrenched open the door, ushering us inside.

"You have money, right?" Harper said as he jumped into the back of the cab, throwing himself down onto the seat next to me.

"Yeah, I got it," Josiah mumbled as he climbed in and sat on my other side. Sitting between Harper and Josiah in such a confined space wouldn't usually have been a wise choice but right then they could have slugged it out and I wouldn't have cared. I just needed to get back. I just needed to find Lucius and make him safe again. If I even could.