Awoken (Ilea, Book I) (COMPLETED)

Chapter 47 (EDITED!)

This has taken way too long to write and I know it's not that long, but I couldn't seem to find the words to get it down until today...I hope there are still people out there interested in Ilea's story, I promise that the end of this book is after this chapter...

Vote, Comment, enjoyy!!

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It was still dark when I awoke and slipped out from between Beau’s arms. Sitting cross-legged next to him, I unsheathed my sword and placed it across my lap. Staring at it intently, I watched the reflective metal for some insight as to what was going to happen in the battle, some idea as to whether I would see Beau again once I had left his side… Nothing happened. 

I silently slid my sword back into the protective leather sheath and changed into the clothing that I still had from Senkrad. Although nothing compared to the re-enforced metal my opponents would be wearing, my training armour was better than the light cotton of my travelling clothes. I tied my sword to my belt along with my gloves and wrapped a leather thong around my hair to keep it out of my way.

I bent down, kissing Beau awake. He roused slowly and smiled when he saw my face, like always, but it soon turned into a frown when he saw my attire. We both stood. He kissed me, but I only allowed it to be brief.

“I wanted to let you know that I am leaving.”

“When will you be back?”

“I do not know. I do not know if I will be coming back.”

 Hot tears stung my eyes I but refused to let them fall. Blinking, I turned around and started to walk away.

Beau came after me, closing the space I had managed to cover in five long strides. I turned quickly, surprised by him following me. He took advantage, putting his hands on my face, pulling it towards his and kissing me with such passion it was almost violent. I could not do this, not now.

His mouth left mine and he kissed my neck, pressing his lips to my skin, trying to force some sort of reaction out of me from my usual weakness, but I stood firm, resolute against him. “Don’t you care about me?”

I wrapped my hand in his hair and pulled sharply, clawing his back with my fingers as the anger rippled through me, how could he even say that.

He did not seem to respond to the fact that I tried to pull him away and drew his mouth back to mine. The anger had unbalanced me, but the way his lips gently and persuasively kissed mine after the sudden outburst broke me completely. I could not ignore it anymore, I could not act as if I did not want him to kiss me when his mouth was so convincing around mine. The hand on his back pulled him close and the fingers in his hair drew his mouth closer to mine.

The part of my brain that spoke sense screamed questions at me that my body tried to stifle. Did I want him to try and follow me into battle? Did I want it to hurt more if I got captured and was torn away from him? What would I do after this if he died? How would I cope? Why didn’t it matter that I did not care? What did it mean that I wanted to be able to stay with him and hide in his arms forever?

I could only come to one conclusion; this was reality, it was not a dream and I did feel the same way, I did love him. I loved him more than I loved life. My lips were moving softly as I saw the an image of him standing in the clearing in my mind and a single tear rolled down my face as I realised that it might never see that again.

But I still clung to the kiss, tasting the last bit of happiness I would know.

Beau felt me start to slow down but hung on desperately, forcefully. I felt myself being pulled onto my toes as he hung onto me, trying to force more enthusiasm. I was trapped between two options; end it now and try to walk away with what I had already given to him or just throw myself into the kiss without knowing how big a part of me I would leave with him because of it.