Wake Me Up

Chapter 12

Nothing.

I feel nothing. What am I supposed to feel? The pain is gone and numbness claims my body. My father is gone, never to return.

Mom cam home from work after receiving a phone call from the hospital saying her husband is dead. She is hardly around but when she is, it's plain as day to see how madly in love she is-was-with him even after all these years.

They way they look at eachother, not saying a single word yet you can feel the connection from across the room. They met in high school, she was the beautiful cheerleader and he, the popular quarterback. A match made in heaven, the went to the same college, got married, then had my brother and I. A picture perfect life really. My parents are-were-in love. So in love that I envied their relationship. Dad would bring her flowers for no reason, take care of her after a long and stressful day at work, and would start singing and dancing with her in the kitchen just to make her smile and laugh.

No doubt she's heart broken. She lost her husband, soulmate, and bestfriend.

Matt is hardly speaking. A permanent glaze covers his eyes, as if he could break down at any moment. He saw a picture of Dad in the living room and set him off into another round of sobs.

I'm not used to seeing my usually outgoing brother in such pain his eyes already are rimmed with red with deep shadows underneath. Seeing him so broken makes my already shattered heart crumble into even tinier pieces.

I miss my dad, so much it hurts. I just want him back in my life, but I know that it can never happen. I wish I had a last chance to see him, hug him, tell him how much I love him. A sad smile graces my face as I recall the conversation we had on the phone the other day. When he told me he loved me and that he was happy if i was happy. But then I push him out of my mind and the numbness comes back.

All I know at the moment is that my world is in ruins around me. What am I supposed to do now? I guess I only really have one option. I'm going to have to be strong for my family. Although I'm the youngest-only by a couple minutes-they need me to be their rock. Things change and roles change, so I need to suck it up for them. Become the glue to hold everything together before its unfixable. I'm going to be strong, even though I could fall apart at any given moment. I'm going to be there for my hurting family, be the tiny bit of normalcy of our old life. The support beams that keep the foundation together.

That night, no matter how tired I am, I cannot fall asleep. I simply lay in bed with the sheets over my legs, staring at the blank, white ceiling. I hear Matt's sobs coming from his room down the hallway, looks like I'm not the only one.

I move my sheets getting out of bed and walking quietly pasts Archer's room and into Matt's. He continues to cry, not attempting to pull himself together when he sees me. I pull back his covers, some spots damp with tears, and slide in next to him. Wrapping my arms around him, he immediately holds me, grabbing on to me like I could disappear before his eyes. I try rubbing his back to calm him like Archer does when in upset.

"It-it's not fair...why?" He complains.

"I know," I refuse to let tear fall. 'Keep it together Meg' I tell myself. He can't see me hurting. 'Be strong' I repeat, 'be strong'.

"Everything's going to be okay" I say, trying to sound convincing.

"Don't lie," his grip tightens around me, silent tears roll down his face. Nothing hurts more than to see a man cry.

"I'm not. Things will get better, I promise," he doesn't reply just nods slightly. "Get some sleep," after a while his tears stop and exaughstion consumes him. His breathing finally becomes even, telling me he's asleep around two in the morning. I reach over him and turn off his alarm deciding that he can sleep in and skip school tomorrow.