The Chronicles of Izaak Summers

Tingling Lips

New Chapter YAY!
I'm only telling you this because I trust you.
I've kind of...never been kissed.
Cue the laughter.
I've sure as hell been close to it, though. One minute some guy from sophomore year and I are getting all sensual and intimate and the next, he decides he's not ready for commitment. Maybe it's a sign. Maybe it's a curse. No one wants to consume my lips.
It is pretty understandable. During the school years, I was almost like that piece of gum under your shoe you don't notice until you begin feeling a weird edge when you walk. So basically I was pointless until I became irritating. Only my teachers put some kind of effort into getting to know me considering they were pretty much forced to.
Now, everything is completely and utterly different. I had become that girl. That girl who is dating the hottest of the heat, Izaak Summers. And suddenly, who I really was didn't add up to the person everyone needed me to be.
That girl is supposed to be flawless, occasionally bitchy, Ivy-like. I'm pretty sure I'm anything but. You can imagine the single handed pressure that was thrown on me when Izaak decided to have some fun. Random people assumed they were my best friends and others from the opposite gender became somehow incredibly infatuated with me, which just doesn't make any logical sense.
"You're Indie right?" This massive basketball player asked me at REC during my shift.
I looked down at him from my lifeguard position, "Yes?"
"Cool name," He smiled.
Ok.
"Thanks...you guy." I didn't know what else to say honestly.
"The name's Ty," he quickly took out his phone, "how about this? You give me your number." All I could think of is how incredibly awkward the whole situation was unfolding out to be. This giant of a human wanted my number. What was happening with the world?
I cleared my throat, "I...have a boyfriend. And I need to get back to work." Izaak had trained me to say those four words yesterday, preparing me for situations like these that were 'bound to happen'. To him, this fake dating thing is highly amusing. For me, it's like playing in a chess tournament. Challenging and thrilling.
This Ty guy's face hardened. I don't think he's ever been rejected before. So things just became ten times more uncomfortable in a blink of an eye, "Fine then. How about you and Izaak come by my party tonight?"
"I'll have to check if we're doing anything dating related." You're showing your weird Indie.
"Cool, I hope I can see you tonight." He gave me that smile again.
"Yeah, Izaak's going to be pumped." This immediately wiped the smile off his face and he walked away. Just call me the master of faking a relationship, why don't you.
As I finish up my story, Izaak is sprawled on the other couch cracking up. He finds it hilarious that so many guys suddenly are interested in me now that 'we're dating'. "They're all pussies." Izaak laughs.
"Did this happen with Ivy?" I groan when another message from a random number texts me. Hey girl I'm willing to be your gay best friend if you need one, it reads. Really? Really?
"All the guys were all over Ivy in the first place. They praised me when we got together. I was kind of expecting the same thing to happen with you." Izaak sits up and stares intently at me.
I have to pull my head back down to my phone playing Tap Tap Revolution, so I don't let those eyes get to me. "No guys were all over me, Izaak. Never. In the eighteen years of my life. That only happens to few people and I do not qualify as one."
"That's bullshit." He shrugs, not believing me. In this moment, I'm not sure if I should be taking this as a compliment. He doesn't believe that I was invisible.
I finally look up at him, "Izaak, you didn't notice me until you moved in. Why should other males?"
"But I did." He says, "I did notice you." So yeah, I set myself up for that one.
"Thank you," I say weirdly and turn back to Tap Tap. "But that doesn't mean other guys did. This whole attention thing is weird. I don't know how you deal with it."
"Well you'll learn tonight." Izaak stands from the couch happily. "When we go to the party. Wow, the first party as a couple. This relationship is really setting sail, don't you think?"
I shake my head, "I'm not going to the party."
Izaak disappears into the kitchen and comes back with a jug of orange juice which he shamelessly drinks from. "But you are actually. We're going together."
"Izaak----,"
"Indie----," He says mocking me. My eyes turn to slits.
I shrug and say, "I don't enjoy parties."
"Ah, what a shame. We're leaving by nine. Wear something," he looks me up and down, "nicer." Apparently my sweat pants and irrelevant t-shirt isn't good enough for him.
"You're an awful boyfriend."
He takes a swig of OJ, "What fun is a good boyfriend?"
I just shake my head as he silently chuckles to himself. Then, I find my hands wringing together which is never a good sign, "Fine, I'll go to the party on one condition, though. You need to talk about it." Once my words escape my lips, he flinches.
"Talk about what?" Izaak knows exactly what I'm talking about.
"You haven't said a word about your mother since that night. Do you want to go find her or not?" I ask quietly.
Izaak avoids my eyes, "I'll decide that later." He puts on the fakest smile on his way up the stairs, "Remember, nine o' clock!" He's gone before I can say another word. I sigh in frustration when I hear the shower switch on and a horrendous beginning to an opera song upstairs. That boy.
Nine o' clock comes earlier than I expect. After a long day of scrolling through Tumblr and eating food, a party is the last thing I want to attend. The thought of getting dressed up from my comfortable fetal position on my bed is haunting. So, I call Florence for some inspiration. When she's too busy for me, I call Red and Cynthia who are also too busy for me.
Staring at my clothes in my condensed closet, I realize something life changing. I don't know how to dress myself. Other than casual, I know no other styles. My last resort is calling upon Izaak.
"Help me," I say weakly as he weeds through my clothes.
Izaak moans, "I don't even know what girls, you know, wear."
"Oh yeah, you only know what girls' clothes look like when they're on the floor after you pull them off." At first, he turns to me in hesitation, but smiles once he sees I'm joking.
"Touche," He says pulling out a top I'm not sure even existed in my presence. The price tag is still on it. How classy. "Wear this," It's a dark blue, silky button down with spaghetti straps with a 'not trying too hard' vibe. I agree to it with black tights and high heels that are way too uncomfortable to bear. It's the first time ever I actually cared about the way I dress. I don't know why.
"Damn," Izaak whispers and lets out a breath when I exit the bathroom ready to party hardy. See, that's my awkward showing again. But I have a right to be awkward because currently, Izaak is staring at me and it's been up to a minute without a word passing between us.
"Sorry," He shakes his head and clears his throat looking away. "Let's go."
On the way, Izaak decides that I'm not at that level of cool that he's on. So, he thinks it's necessary to give me lessons. Don't seem TOO excited. Act like you don't care about the party...at all. And please, please Indie...don't be awkward.
Soaking in the information, my heart begins to beat out of control. I'm not ready for this. Even if I don't want it, there's going to be a lot of attention directed towards me no matter what just by the single fact that Izaak is by my side. When we arrive, I find myself glued to the passenger seat.
"Indie, come on." Izaak comes around to open my side door, but I still don't move. The thumping of the party is heard for miles and though music may be one of my passions, right now it's terrifying.
"What if I embarrass myself? What if I embarrass you?" I swallow without looking him straight in the eyes.
I hear Izaak exhale, "You're not going to embarrass anyone, India. If anything, you'll outshine me tonight." He laughs.
That doesn't make me feel any better. I look down at my hands to see them shaking uncontrollably. Now, I feel like a complete idiot. I'm overreacting and I look stupid. Izaak squats down and takes my hand to stop the shaking. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to." He says.
I inhale to absorb my nerves. "No, let's go. I'm not going to let a whole bunch of what ifs keep us from having a good time."
"Indie, are you sure?" Hearing the concern in his voice makes me even more sure of myself.
"I'm positive. Move," I find myself pushing past him and towards the house party. I get to the point where there's no turning back and begin to freak out once again even though I never stop my confident stride. A hand laces with mine and I loosen up a bit. Just Izaak's presence has the capability of doing that to me.
I feel him lean down and whisper to me, "You're so hot when you're commanding." My cheeks burn an awful shade of red for so long I need to remind myself that I do not blush.
As expected, stepping into the house leads to a whole other atmosphere. The guy is pretty rich with a big enough house to fit all these sweaty, drunk teenagers. But I don't get the chance to bask in the beauty of the house because all, and I mean all, attention is turned towards Izaak and I. He just has the biggest smile on his face when he squeezes my hand. I don't even want to imagine how fearful I look right now.
"My man, Izaak!" Ty appears from dust and gives Izaak a manly greeting causing my hand to stand alone. I begin to wring them both together and try my hardest not to meet eyes with anyone who is sizing me up.
"So, Ty, I heard that you were hitting on my girlfriend. Do you want to talk about that or...?" Izaak's whole persona has changed. He seems more like that cocky, don't-mess-with-me guy than the one I know is the real him.
Ty hands Izaak a red solo cup and laughs, "Nah man, we're bros. I would never." He keeps glancing at me out of the corner of his eyes, which makes me extremely uncomfortable. Everything about this Ty guy is just uncomfortable.
"No, no, we're not bros. If you ever even look at her again, consider yourself screwed." And that's the end of the side glances. Wow. I knew that Izaak was powerful, but not this powerful. He's like a king to all of these people.
"You just," Ty swallows. "You just have a beautiful girlfriend, man. That's all. It's normal to look, isn't it? That's what you did with my sister. You kept looking until she was willing to fall into your bed."
This stops Izaak for a second. It's obvious that Ty wants me to hear about Izaak's mischief's and carelessness, but it's not anything I'm used to. The guy brought girls back to my house all the time. Trust me, I'm aware of his sliminess.
"That was a mistake." Izaak says in a low voice and grabs hold of my hand once again.
Ty smirks and looks down at our hands, "Was it? Because if I got my facts checked, my sis and yourself have been talking lately. The last conversation, according to her of course, was yesterday. A long phone call conversation about who knows what. Why would you be talking to a mistake when you have a girlfriend, Izaak?" At his words, my instinct is to crawl out of Izaak's hand. My dropping of his hand makes Ty laugh and Izaak turn to me.
"He's lying." Izaak says. Why am I so affected by this? It's not like we're actually together. We're not. We'll never be. Izaak would never go after a girl like me.
"But I don't think I am." Ty sings. Trying to avoid Izaak's eyes, I look around the house at all the eyes piercing at me with degrading whispers and giggles. Never have I felt the need to be invisible again as I do at this moment. They all hate me. For some reason, they do not like me.
My hands begin shaking once again. "Indie, babe, calm down and listen to me." I hear the Izaak I've known for the past couple of weeks say sweetly.
"Do not dare tell me to calm down, babe." The hiss in my voice scares me as it does Izaak who wears wide ocean blue eyes at the moment.
"Ooh, that's never a good sign." Ty says.
"Shut the hell up!" Izaak attracts even more attention with his yell. Too much attention. Too many eyes. Too many people staring. I think I'm having a panic attack.
Attempting to steady my breathing, I hear myself say, "I need to go." Dizzying up the stairs, I find the nearest bathroom and lock the door. I fall to the ground and grab hold of the side of the bathtub. Racking my brain for what I was taught to do when having one of these, all that appears are all the eyes and the desperation in Izaak's. Inhaling and exhaling suddenly becomes a task I know I can't succeed in.
I dig up my phone and call the only person who knows how to fix me. My hands are one in themselves at this point; uncontrollable. There's knocking at the door and the sound of Izaak's voice increasing my anxiety.
"Indie?" Taby says on the other end. I can't find words, but she already knows what's going on by my heavy, insane breathing. "Indie, Indie, calm down."
"I c-can't. I can't." My grip on the tub tightens to a point where I feel pain shooting up my arm.
"Yes you can, yes you can. Hold your breath Indie. You need to hold your breath."
"No, I need--I need to breathe. I can't breathe." Izaak continues knocking worriedly.
Taby's voice is calm and soothing, "Remember what the doctor said? To stop it, you need to hold your breath. And think. Think about Mom and Dad and Florence and Cynthia and Red. Think about all the happy times. Hold your breath and think."
Feeling close to death, I follow her commands. I close my eyes and stop breathing for a second with only thoughts of my friends and family trailing my mind. Nothing seems to be the result until I find the tangible panic draining from my blood.
"See, it's fine. Everything is fine. Breathe from the diaphragm, Indie. Breathe slowly." Tabitha says.
"I can breathe." I say as I do just that.
Taby laughs, "You can breathe." A long silence follows as I regain control of myself. "You okay?" She finally says.
"Thank you," I whisper against the phone.
"You're my sister. I would take a bullet for you." She hangs up with that and I laugh a little while breathing slowly from my diaphragm. Everything is fine. Everything is fine.
After twenty minutes of regaining myself, it takes most of my willpower to leave the bathroom and allow the crazed music to connect with my ears once again. Back with society, I'm not going crazy because I'm fine. I am fine. Izaak sits with his back against the wall and his head down next to the bathroom door. "Indie," He stands. "Are you okay? What happened? Are you okay?"
He's almost as frantic as I was, searching my face for signs. "I'm okay," I whisper. He grabs my head with both of his hands and continues examining me. I shake his grip off, "I'm alright."
It takes him one second, but he finally really looks at me. "You're angry. You're angry with me. The Ty's sister thing was a misunderstanding. Don't be angry with me."
"I'm not mad at you, Izaak." I say as I journey down the stairs, my biggest concern being to leave this party we just walked into.
"Come on," He spins me around so we're face to face. Loosened bodies continue bumping into us screaming obscenities. "Don't be mad."
"I'm not mad! I just need to leave right now. Can you do that for me? Take me home?" My voice comes across cruel and rage filled. Izaak resembles a puppy dog begging for forgiveness.
"Indie-----,"
"Oh! So the two lovebirds are here, huh?" Ivy's voice cuts through the music, cuts through Izaak's plead, and manages to cut through my own thoughts. She has her usual posse hanging around her and they all naturally attract eyes. So just imagine how many people's attentions we're drawing if Izaak Summers is here with his new 'girlfriend' who just happened to run into his old girlfriend. I breathe from my diaphragm.
Izaak steps in front of me, "Ivy right now is not the time."
Ivy ignores him and connects eyes with me, "Ooh, you look cute. Both of you are just too adorable together."
Breathing from my diaphragm, I speak up, "Can you not?"
"Can I not what? Prove to everyone how pathetic this whole thing actually is? Sure you may be "cute" but Izaak doesn't do cute. He does sexy. I am sexy. The most you are to him is just some toy he can play with." Ivy says. Ouch.
"That's where you have it wrong, Ivy. Let's just admit it now. You were my toy. I called you and you came. I needed you and you were at my feet. You were basically my dog." Izaak shrugs as the chorus echoes in 'oohs'.
"You were his bitch." I hear someone say. When all eyes turn towards me, I realize I'm the one who says it. Oh...what am I doing. Some people laugh at my unintentional joke making me relax a little. Nothing is better than when a group of people laugh at your joke.
Izaak takes my hand in his with a smile, "Exactly. Now, can I move on or am I just going to have to keep unfortunately running into you?" Ivy doesn't answer him and he sighs and pulls me towards the door. "And for the record, Indie is way sexier in my opinion." His words are followed by many 'woots' and 'hell yeahs'. I just stand there, soaking in all the things I'm missing here. Something must be wrong with Izaak.
"Okay, there is no way you left me for her. Did she brainwash you? What the hell is actually going on?" The desperation in Ivy's voice is undeniable. I notice many people tense up from second hand embarrassment. I clench my teeth together. "Don't you want me?" Ivy whispers.
I feel so sorry for her that I'm contemplating revealing the whole lie Izaak and I are playing with right now at this moment. But something cuts me off. Something so sudden that it takes me too much time to dissect the situation.
Izaak's arm is wrapped around my waist and his mouth smashes into mine. My first thought is how incredibly awkward kissing actually is. From my end, my lips are completely still as if frozen and Izaak's are trying to find action somewhere in this mess that is me. I never imagined my first kiss to be this...uncomfortable. The eyes boring into us are tangible and I just want it to stop.
This is not how it's supposed to be, is it? My knees are supposed to go weak. My breath is supposed to catch. I'm supposed to feel like I'm in a daze. This is not how it happens to everyone else.
Subtly, after about five seconds, I pull away from Izaak's manly grasp and take a step back. I don't think anyone notices how weirdly I act towards Izaak after that. They only take into account the storming away of Ivy and the music that suddenly awakens.
Looking to Izaak is the worst thing I've ever had to do in my entire lifetime. "Why--why did you do that?"
He has a pleased smile on his face, "No one will doubt us now. Sorry I took you by surprise, though." Nothing about the situation appears wrong to him.
"Don't ever do that again Izaak." Tears feel like they're forming under my closed eyelids and I want to punch myself at the moment. I'm being so stupid. Too damn stupid and girly.
"Indie what's wrong?" He takes a step towards me.
"Just don't do it again please." I'm out the house party and dialing Florence's number in a matter of seconds. I hide from Izaak at a nearby park, continuously feeling my lips that are supposed to be tingling. They feel no different. Actually, that's not right. My lips feel abused as if someone has taken a sledge hammer and destroyed their purpose.
Swinging my high heel shoes in circles, I take one long look at them before throwing them a good distance from the slide I'm currently residing on. "Dammit Indie," I say to myself.
Damn you Izaak Summers.
THANKS FOR READING! I HOPE YOU LIKED THE CHAPTER BECAUSE I SURE ENJOYED WRITING IT!
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Vote for it too if you really liked it. It would make a young girl happy. Do it for the smiles :)
And my sledge hammer reference had no correlation with Miley Cyrus's new music video Wrecking Ball. A coincidence you can say it is. He-he.