I Pray for Death

Chapter Two

A part of me almost felt it was my due; I should have been there to protect Shayde.  If I hadn’t stayed late she wouldn’t have ate the little crystals that looked so much like rock candy.  She had probably thought our mother had them hidden because she didn’t like to share treats with us.  

Even though crystal meth was the cause of her daughter’s death, my mother had not stopped using it.  The night Shayde died, I found my mother clutching the same bag, as she lay asleep on the couch, only now it was empty.  A few hours later she had woke up and came into my room.  She jerked me out of bed and proceeded to beat me to a pulp.  She yelled constantly; telling me it was all my fault, that I was going to Hell and she wished it had been me.  I hadn’t been able to get out of bed the next morning.

Warm sunlight brought me back from the past and I sat up from the floor slowly, wiping the tears from my face as I did.  Thinking of Shayde always made the tears flow.  I missed her so much.

I stood carefully and made my way to the bathroom.  The house was silent; my parents were sleeping off last nights high like they did every morning.   I went in the bathroom, gently closed the door and turned on the light. 

I looked up into the mirror to find the familiar stranger that I had become accustomed to seeing, staring back at me.  Hollow eyes rimmed in black, pale skin covered in bruises and red marks, and a skeleton-like body was what I had become in the past two years.  I looked dead.  I felt dead.  My hair was a black tangled mess, the dark color making me look even paler than I was.  My clothes were the same ones I wore when I was fourteen, only now they hung off my body and looked like rags.  I had never asked for new ones and no one had ever offered.  

The only thing my mother ever gave me was concealer.  She made sure all bruises were covered and I had become adept at hiding them.

I pulled off my clothes and took a quick shower.  I never stayed long for fear of my parents catching me unaware.  The warm water helped to fade the pain wracking my pitifully thin body.  I dried off and slathered my face with concealer, barely able to look at what I had become.  I tiptoed back to my room to put on oversized winter clothes and comb the tangles from my hair.  I felt dizzy and knew I would have to find something to eat or I wouldn’t be able to go on much longer before I fainted and they send me to the hospital.  If that happened, everyone would find out my secret.  

I pulled on shoes that were a size too small and made my way downstairs and out the door.  I stood at the end of the driveway and waited for the bus to come pick me up and take me to one of the only refuges I had; school.  

People there were mean and said a lot of hateful things, but they didn’t touch me and for that, I was grateful.  Most people just ignored me and I was even more grateful for that.  

The ride to school was quiet and short.  I only lived two miles from school and I used to walk but now I couldn’t walk a half a mile without feeling as if I would pass out.  Every morning I would go to the cafeteria and wait for my chance to steal something to eat.  The past few days I had not been successful and I knew that this morning I would have to get something no matter what.  

I walked into the school and down the hall to the cafeteria, keeping my head down and my eyes away from all the people surrounding me.  Luckily, the cafeteria is almost empty and I walked around the displays of food acting as if I’m picking out something to eat.  As the lunch lady turns her head to take care of a customer, I grab a biscuit, slide it in my pocket, and go about browsing again.  I wish I could get a carton of milk but I don’t want to push my luck.  I slump my shoulders as if disappointed that they didn’t have what I wanted and make my way out into the hall.  

I walk quickly to the bathroom and lock myself in a stall.  Pulling out my biscuit, I savor the smell and warmth and I’m pleasantly surprised to see it filled with sausage.  

I eat it slowly, knowing I will be late to class but not caring.  After half has disappeared, I feel extremely full so I wrap up what is left and head to class.  

“You’re late Memory.”  Ms. Kelly said softly as I walked through the door.  Everyone turned to glance at me but they soon find nothing intriguing and go back to their chatting, texting and napping.  I nodded to the teacher in apology and went straight to my desk.  

“As I was saying, we have a new student.  His name is Grayson Harper.  Why don’t you take a seat in the back next to Memory?”  Ms. Kelly pointed in my direction and I did my best to disappear into my desk.  I refused to look up as I heard the new kid’s sneakers squeak across the floor towards me.  I hated the looks of disgust people would give me when they first saw me.  

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a black book bag fall to the floor and a body plop down in the desk next to me.  

“Cool name.”  The statement came out as a husky whisper and I felt my body tense at the sound.  Was he speaking to me?  I kept my eyes on my desk and tried to concentrate on the lesson the teacher was giving but it was impossible.  

I hated my name.  Memory Noire.  Black memory is what my mother called me.  She told me once she named me that because when I was born she had nothing but black thoughts and memories and she wished I were never born.  

I didn’t have the heart to tell her I wished I had never been born either.  

(A/N)  Thanks for reading!  Comment, Vote, Fan!  Bye My Bunnies!<3