Urges| s.reid

16

Holly's POV

"He was a bit harsh." JJ pointed out looking back at Spencer who was standing at the boards alone. "Does he know?" She asked referring to my PTSD. I shook my head with wide eyes. She only nodded not noticing my sudden panic but didn't address it so I assumed she wouldn't say a thing. "Why do you think he acted like that?" She asked obviously still having a one sided conversation.

"I don't know, I haven't seen him in years." I mumbled with a sad face and tone, I looked at her. "You probably know him better then I do." I pointed out and she seemed to pause and think for a single moment before answering what wasn't a question but a hypothesis.

"He's actually very shut off, not as much with me, but just in general." JJ pointed out, looking to make sure he wasn't within our ear shot. "He's gotten a lot better since you got back. When you first got here he seemed to brighten up and he didn't stop talking about you." I tried not to blush but the blood rushed to my face. JJ smiled at me.

JJ and I then stopped talking as we closed in proximity to the team, Hotch glanced up at us as Spencer placed yet another picture to the board. I suddenly felt sick but held it down. We had been here three days and two more victims had popped up. We needed a profile and soon, his cooling off period was shortening.

***

"We are looking for a man between the ages of 25-35 who is obsessed with the perfection he sees in these woman, a perfection that he most likely didn't get from his mother and he is using for seragets, but she must have done something to rage him. Possibly abused him sexually or mentally." Hotch said glancing at me.

"He probably works in either the dental or musical field at an entry level job because he can recognize a lip formation known as flute lips where the dip on the top lip in the middle does not exist- like this." I said showing an example or two on the screen each person in the room took notes. Then Spencer took over.

"We also believe that he was triggered by a recent event such as a passing of a mother figure or an anniversary to something belonging to his mother. Either way his mother is a very important key factor." Spencer said with his hands waving around. JJ then took over.

"His end game with most likely end in a hostage situation, suicide or even a shoot out with the cops- either way he's looking to take as many people down and out with him." She said with her hands jammed in her back pockets.

"That's all thank you." Hotch finished, everyone the dispersed, a hand catching my arm as I turned. Then my eyes widened before I let out a small squeak.

"You scared me." I said to him as he leaned against the wall, looking down. First he was silent as it he didn't know what to say but wanted to speak to me. I blinked at him for a moment.

"I'm sorry about-" He licked his lips. "I'm sorry I freaked out like I did. Honestly the idea-" Spencer ran a hand through his hair with a shaking breath. He seemed nervous as hell. "You scared me is all." I hadn't asked him to explain but he obviously felt obligated to. I shoved my hands in my pockets.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled to him and it seemed like he didn't want an apology but wanted an explanation of some sorts. He looked like he was in pure pain struggling to stand and I knew his leg was not okay. He had ditched his crutches.

"I just- I don't know what's going on with you." Spence said. "Your different." Sure my job changed me as he looked at me, his eyes glossy. "What happened to you Holl?" I sighed and looked around. I couldn't tell him but I didn't want to end up yelling at him in the middle of the police station.

"I- I can't- nothing happened to me." I said straightening up. His face hardened, his hand slipping into mine as I tried to walk away knowing he couldn't follow fast enough to catch up. I sighed.

"Your lying," Spencer said to me and I rolled my eyes. "Your tell is still that your eyes flicker up and down." I felt tears prick my eyes and looked down. He was right. I was lying. "Holl." He said pulling me closer to him, I could feel his body heat on me and his breath fanned my face, I chewed on my lip.

"I- I can't tell you Spence." I whispered and my nose brushed his cheek. Sure we were standing way to close for it to even look professional but I didn't care because it made me feel okay again. "Please just- just trust me." I whispered to him and he swallowed a lump in his throat to look at me.

"I just want you to be alright." Spencer whispered to me and let his lips brush my cheek as a soft unintentional kiss. I shivered at his action. I knew a lot of people in the station were looking at us and I just didn't care at all.

"I'm getting- I'm getting better," Then I paused with a small smile growing on my face. "Your making me better." Spencer then smiled and nodded to me, I pulled back and looked at him. He gave me a long drawn out sigh and a peck on the cheek before he limped off.

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A/N

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