Not Again! (Lesbian Story) (GirlxGirl)

6.

So I've decided to make a journal. Now I know you probably think that's pretty lame considering I'm a senior in high school, and in a lot of ways, you're right. But with a journal I can write down what I'm feeling without people giving me their "advice."

Don't get me wrong, I don't have a lot of people to vent to. In fact I really only have John and my mom. But usually when I tell them something they always have to put in their two cents.

And as a good friend or good parent would do, they give that two cents to try and help me out. But sometimes I honestly don't want another opinion. So I figure putting down all my thoughts on paper instead of them just swarming around in my head like flies on shit would be good.

Maybe I'll keep this long enough so I can read it when I'm twenty five and laugh at how dumb I was. Or maybe I'll just keep it until the end of senior year. I'm not sure yet.

So here I am, sitting at my poorly organized desk wondering what to write. It's like the paper is mocking me.

I pick up my pen and date the paper at the top

October 6th, 2015

I'll start this journal entry off with a quote from a movie I just watched. The movie was Me And Earl And The Dying Girl and the quote was "Hot girls destroy your life. That's just a fact." And even though the quote is short and to the point, I couldn't relate to it more in this very moment of my life.

Now let's just say 25 year old me is reading this right now. Uh, send help? Please? It's this girl, Melissa. I'm sure you know all about her. She messes with my emotions in two different ways. She makes me go crazy for her, so much that I feel like a weirdo whenever I catch myself looking for her at lunch or during passing period. She makes me do things I wouldn't normally do.

Sounds like I'm on drugs right?

Anyways, the second way she messes with me is by the way she treats me. And I know I probably sound like a bitchy housewife. But we aren't even dating! Not that I wouldn't mind but that's not the point. She teases me. I wouldn't say she necessarily bullies me, but that's only because I secretly have a huge crush on her.

Well not even "secretly" because she knows! She takes the feelings I have for her and puts it in a jar labeled "the thing that'll never be." And then she dances around me with it, sticking it out in front of my face but then reaching back before I can grab it.

This is getting weird now and I feel as if you're getting bored of this childish stuff.

Signed,
17 year old Ren

P. S. I won't be 17 year old Ren for long. But I think you know why by just looking at the date.

Seeming satisfied with myself, I closed the old notebook I found in my mom's arts and crafts drawer.

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Melissa's POV

All the drama that has been circulating around me lately is driving me insane and I'm not even apart of it. Since it's between my friends, minus Lena, I'm dragged into all of it. Honestly I don't care about the whole Ally, Chase, and Jason thing.

They should have handled that on their own and privately. Jason, being the idiot that he is, had to tell everybody. Which backfired in the worst possible way for him. I mean getting humiliated in front of everyone like that must've been hard for him, but I don't pity him.

He seriously brought this whole thing onto himself. Also now that I think about it, I haven't heard from Ally in a while.

Figuring that I was a bad friend for not checking up on her I decided to call her.