Learning through life

Shy person problems

So I was reading this book about a girl that is quite shy, and she is trying to explain to people what being an 'introvert' is. I thought I might contribute to the none existent virtual conversation by writing a paragraph or 10 about this subject as well.
As of now, my shyness has toned down and I can now talk to people in my class on a daily basis, and even maybe going as far as saying hi to one of my dad's and/or mom's friends. But only on occasion. Depending on the person, I can even crack a joke or two. But there are some things that I have yet to over come and doubt that I ever will.
Before we start my 'introverted' experiences,  let's chat about what the term introvert actually means. And we're talking dictionary, not popular belief.
By definition, 'introvert' means, and I quote,
"a person who is prominently concerned with their own thoughts rather than external things, often compared with 'Extrovert'"

Rewriting this entire definition was necessary because people often think that it means to have social anxiety or a mental illness. And  that, my mutual probably nonexistent internet friend is not the case what-so-ever.

"To be or not to be"
thank you Shakespeare for the wonderful and extremely accurate example.  You are either shy or not, no in between. It's a yes or no question. Deal with it. Now, enough Shakespearean. Introvert simply means that we are shy, dislike talking to strangers, and often get lost in our own thoughts.
We, as introverts are mostly like extremely observant and can possibly be ease dropping on you right now. Just because we're quiet doesn't mean we can't hear you when you're standing right next to us whispering loudly into your friends ear.
Be careful, we know all your secrets. We, or at least me, tend to remember everything, and if not everything then most things. So watch out, when I get the confidence to talk to people I be Threatening you for telling Billy over there that I was mute.

NOW for very introverted experiences organized in chronological order that are quite informative and embarrassing.
People tend to think that shy people don't like talkative people, social situations, public places, or people in general and for a long time this was totally me.
I hated talking to people, hated it when people talked to me. Didn't want to be called on in class and when I was I was lost in my own thoughts and embarrassed myself by looking like a dumbass.
If I got invited to a couple of birthday parties in second grade, never went to them. To awkward and I didn't want to be around the people I didn't know. To be honest I used to hate talkative people in class, they bothered me and asked generic questions like "why are you so quiet?".
I hated going outside because neighbors, and going to grocery store was awkward because people.
In third grade my shyness didn't get any better. I always seem to want to be at the back of the line, afraid of people judging me from behind. Daydreaming during science and giving myself personal mental pep rallies and talks about how I should interact with people more and how the presentation next week wouldn't be that bad. Always afraid of judgement, to this day a wear hoodies because of this.
To say the least I do not like my 'physique' per-say. I would take the elastic of my jacket and cover my legs whenever I sat down.

This was the first time I made people laugh in class. It was a last minute decision.
It was art class, and we surrounded a round table that had all the supplies we needed to do the art project. I had my stuff and needed to get back to my desk, surprise surprise, I was squished in place! I got on a chair and walked on my knees. Once I got to the end I went to swing my foot around and I fell straight on my face. All the girls gasped and this one dude chuckled mockingly.
Not knowing what to do, I got up, once again on my knees and put both fists up into the air. Everyone laughed and I spent the rest of the day lecturing myself.

In forth grade not much happened, no shyness changes or anything. BUT I did get embarrassed and dug up a new found hatred for someone.
One day in art class, I was sitting next to this douchebag named, hmmm.... We'll call him Joe for now. So 'Joe' the douchebag sat next to me. For some reason he always poked fun at me and made my life more miserable than it already was.
Someone had asked to borrow something so forth grade me decide to 'try' key word, try to make someone laugh and said,

"sure you can borrow anything but my head!"

DEAR LORD BABY JESUS CHRIST. NO SENTENCE HAS EVER MADE MY CRINGE SO HARD AND MAKE ME HATE MYSELF SO MUCH.
So John said,
"can I borrow you clothes and underwear? Take them off I want them"
WORD FOR WORD THATS WHAT HIS DIRTY ASS PERVERTED ASS DAMN MOUTH SAID TO ME AND I HATED HIM FOR IT. RUINED MY DAMN CHILDHOOD WITH Y'ALL'S BULLSHIT.

And that's the first part,
Maybe I make second part if a feel like it.

Learned that some people change over time, and some need a crazy experience✌️