58 Days With Parker

Day 1... Without Parker

Okay, this is what all of those chapters have been leading up to. The ending. Or the new beginning. Haha. I can't believe it's over, but it is. Thanks to everyone who read 58 Days. You guys rock. Okay, enjoy the last chapter. Or not, I can't really force you to enjoy it... 

Day 1... without Parker

 Sun streamed in through gaps in the closed blinds. The room lit up in warm orange hues. Aspyn lay on her bed, twisted in lilac sheets. The sunlight lightly touched upon her face and illuminated her soft features. Her gentle eyes fluttered open and for a second, everything felt right in the world. But then the blissful moment ended and a crushing weight fell upon her heart. 

Parker. 

Dead. 

No, no, it musn't be true. It can't be. 

But, Aspyn knew that was a lie. He was dead. No doubt about that. She watched him die. 

Oddly, she finally connected with Parker. She finally understood what he must've been feeling since Jace died. The guilt of watching the life leave someone's body and not doing anything about it. The sorrow of missing them. The pain of wondering about the what ifs. 

Aspyn felt like a shell of her former self. She didn't want to get out of bed, or eat, or speak, or smile, or laugh. She didn't want to do anything; she wanted to cease existing. So, that's what she tried to do. 

She closed her eyes and wished with all her power to cease existing- not die, exactly. Tears sprung to her eyes; she didn't even bother to wipe them away. What's the point, anyway?

Memories of Parker terrorized her mind the moment she stopped focusing on not existing. She flinched as she remembered the first time she met Parker. She was surprised, to say the least. She thought he was a proper asshole. She wondered how someone so cold and rude could be related to sweet little Mrs. Stevenson. 

"I wish I never met you." She whispered, clutching her aching heart. 

But, then she regretted saying that. No, she was glad she had the chance to meet Parker. He changed her, for better and for worse. Of course, she wished they had more time. More time was all she needed.

The first time they kissed came to mind. Aspyn tried to smile, but her lips wouldn't curl up the way they had millions of times before. Smiling felt like a foreign language. 

Just thinking of the memory brought butterflies to her stomach. She cringed and cried harder, wondering if anyone else would ever make her feel that way again. 

She thought of the way he tasted- like coffee and cigarettes- and wondered if she could ever stand the taste of coffee if it wasn't on Parker's tongue.  

She thought of his crisp, cold eyes and wished, desperately wished she could see them again. The color was already blurry in her mind. 

She thought of his scarred hands and could almost feel his strong grip on hers. 

She thought of his strong embrace and craved to feel his arms around her just once more. 

More and more, she realized how much she wanted to talk to him. They hadn't done enough of that. He preferred the silence. In that moment, Aspyn realized how much she hated the silence. The silence around Parker was warm and comfortable. The silence around Aspyn now is cold and lonely. 

Desperately lonely.

Yet, Aspyn couldn't speak to anyone. Not now, maybe not ever. No one could make her feel any better except, well, Parker.