Lost in Darkness

Chapter 7-Happily Never After

Chapter 7
 

"Raven, we need to talk," Cole said, barging into my room. Man did I hate those words. I let out a gusty sigh, and closed my eyes.
"There isn't anything to talk about Cole," I replied, tired of this conversation already. My voice came out muffled, as I was hidden underneath my quilt. 

 I was lying in bed, feeling sorry for myself. It was the day after my little episode with the demon, and I still hurt inside. It was more hurt than I usually felt. With it's ugly words, the demon had opened up old wounds. The numbing coldness rushing through my veins was proof of that. No matter how many blankets I had draped over me, I just couldn't get warm again. It was like i was freezing from the inside out. 

 "The hell there isn't!" he yelled, and I snapped my head out from under my fortress of blankets to stare at him. The heat in his tone made me envious. It felt like forever since I'd experienced any warmth. Cole stalked into the room, slamming the door shut behind him. It made a loud THUD that I'd probably get an earful about from the neighbours later. Which, in my opinion, was totally hypocritical, since you could hear them going at it until all hours of the morning. 

 Cole ripped the the covers away from me and chucked them on the floor. 
"Cole!" I yelled, my blue eyes widening in anger. "What the fuck!"
"You will talk to me about this!" he said, his voice threatening. I jumped up off the bed, glaring at him in fury. How dare he! How dare he waltz in here and tell me what to do! He hadn't even knocked, for God's sake!

 "The hell I will!" I snapped, outraged beyond reason. My mind was in a murky place at the moment, and I was functioning purely from my emotions. Not a good thing for Cole, since I was so pissed at him, irrationally blaming him for everything I was feeling. I knew it wasn't fair, but the word "fair" no long existed to me. 

 I didn't feel cold any more. Now I felt as if I were on fire. The fury coursing through me scolded me in its intensity. It wasn't really fury at him. I knew that. It was the bottled fury that I'd kept locked away all these years. It all came rushing to the surface, and Cole was the unfortunate person to be near me when the bomb inside me exploded. Each pounding beat of my heart was the ticking of the bomb. 

 "Raven, how the fuck am I supposed to help you if you won't tell me what's going on?" he shouted.
"Oh, don't give me that crap," I snarled, moving towards him. Since he didn't retreat as any sane person would, we ended up chest to chest, glaring at each other. I could feel the little sparks in my palm, but with a small effort, I managed to keep them there, instead of shocking him like I wanted to. 

 "What crap?" he asked, generally baffled. His voice returned back to its normal volume with his confusion. 
"The whole, 'I care about you' crap. I mean, please," I scoffed. Cole's eyes changed from confused to menacing in an instant. 
"Do you honestly think," he began slowly, his voice like quiet thunder, "that I don't care about you?" I paused for a long moment before answering. When I did answer, I couldn't look him in the eye.

 "I know you don't care," I whispered. "I mean, you say you do. But when it comes down to it, you'll leave me. Everyone always does. No matter what promises they make, no matter the consequence to me. No care for the pain it'll cause me when they're gone, living happily ever after. How can you care about a person if you just go off and leave them?"

 Tears pricked my eyes, and I blinked them back, not wanting to cry in front of Cole. He already thought I was pathetic enough, I'm sure. 

 When I tried to move away from him, he grabbed my wrist in an unbreakable hold. I blinked up at him, not caring about the tiny pin pricks of pain his touch caused. I made the mistake of looking into his eyes. 

 They were filled with... Filled with something. I didn't know what that something was, but it made something deep inside of me tremble. 

 "Raven," he whispered. The sound of my name on his lips caused a strange thrill to go through me. I could feel myself holding my breath as I waited for what he'd say next. "I won't leave you. I can't. It's just not something I'm physically capable of doing. And if I do ever leave you, know this. It will be through no will of my own." 

 For once, his voice sounded tender...soft. His grip on me loosened until it was almost like the caress of a lover. I felt something inside me soften at his confession. My heart told me that he meant what he said, but my mind was filled with the awful possibility that he would leave me. I had somehow survived my father abandoning me, my mother and sister dying. I wouldn't survive it if Cole left me too. I had lost too much already. 

 Unbidden, my first meeting with Cole flitted through my mind. And it made me smile even though tears threatened to escape my grasp.