A Wonderful Fortuitous Love

22. Too Friendly

“When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.” 

— Jess C. Scott

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“Our neighbours are having sex again,” Draco noted conversationally, closing the door behind him.

Hermione didn’t look up from her book. “Lovely.”

“I wonder what it must be like, just constantly doing it over and over.” He strode further in and leant against the wall. “I haven’t been shagged in a while.”

Hermione’s eyes flickered to his. “I’m not quite sure what you’re asking me to do here.” 

“I only wish they’d stop flaunting it in everybody’s faces, you know? It’s like they’re challenging someone to step up and do something about it or try and have more sex than them, and I don’t think there’s a human on this planet with enough stamina…”

Hermione hadn’t really been listening – she was far too used to Draco’s frequent and often totally irrelevant musings about nothing in particular. Just the other day he’d wondered out loud how often old people had sex, the day before that he’d asked if it was possible to cry under water, and now this.

So it took longer than it would have if she’d been paying attention for his words to finally set in, and when they did, it was like someone had lit a light bulb in her head. A truly wonderful idea had occurred to her.

Slowly, Hermione drew the book away from her face to get a better view of Draco as a mischievous smile spread across her face.

“What’d I say?” he asked, watching her reaction timidly.

Hermione stood. “You know, I… I have always wanted to say something to Zoe and Matt, but I’ve never actually known what to say. And Draco, I do believe you’ve given me a superb idea.”

He looked stunned for a moment, and later Hermione would realise this was because she’d let his first name slip again, but then he frowned in thought, trying to figure out what she was going to do.

“Oh god,” he said after a second, “you’re not going to try and have sex with me, are you?”

Hermione snorted and went up the stairs. “Yes, of course. Take me right here, right now on the table.”

She didn’t turn around to see his expression, though she presumed he was still standing in the same spot because it took a while before she heard his footsteps on the stairs after her. She would have smiled if her mind weren’t so preoccupied.

Hermione went into her bedroom and got on the bed. Draco hesitated outside.

“Granger… what are you doing?”

Standing on the bed, Hermione, with a flick of her wand, lifted the Muffliato Charm from the flat. Moans, groans and the creaking of a bed engulfed their ears.

“Granger…” His was voice higher than usual.

But she ignored him and instead gripped the headboard. Unable to hold back the grin before she’d even started, Hermione began to repeatedly slam the headboard into the wall.

“Have you lost your mind?” demanded Draco, aghast.

“Be quiet,” she hissed, slowing down and listening to the other side. Zoe and Matt had apparently heard them, their moaning and the constant squeak slowing down. Hermione took the opportunity to surge the headboard into the wall again to lift the competition, and then they started up again, faster and louder than before. It appeared her challenge had been accepted.